All I Need Is You
by mjp248
Summary: Brooke and Chase! Brooke finds herself falling more and more into Chase, while Lucas wonders if letting her go was the right thing in the first place, making his own relationship suffer, as well as her's. Rated Teen... just incase.
1. The New Happiness

Hey! here's another one shot... yeah I've been on a roll with them lately! lol.. this one's Brase.. one's more... just lotsa Brase fluff lol... Im in LOVE with them lol... there ya go!

Disclaimer: I Do Not Own OTH

By the way, If I get good reviews for this, I might just make it a long one so... let me know!!

Michelley P.

* * *

All I Need Is You

Brooke stood in the middle of the grassy lawn in front of the school. She searched the faces around her for a way out. There was no one. All of these people she grew up with seemed so unfamiliar, and her breath was lost amongst them. His voice was drowning her and everything seemed to spin. He had her so off balance after she had finally found a common ground in someone else.

"Brooke?" Lucas's voice whispered. "Are you listening to me?" Brooke swallowed the lump in her throat and stared at him coldly, nodding. "I'm just saying. This new guy... are you sure he's a good idea. I mean, I'm worried about you."

"You're worried about me?" She choked out. "Why?" She closed her eyes and remembered how happy she had been in the past couple weeks with Chase. There was a certain calmness in the atmosphere whenever she was with him and she found it incredibly unfair that Lucas would even slightly try to take that away from her.

"Because... I've heard some things about him..." Lucas lied, "Are you sure you want to be spending so much time with this guy?"

Brooke raised one eyebrow at him and couldn't help btu scoff. "You're kidding right?"

Lucas shook his head. "I don't like him. And I'm really worried."

"You lost the right to be worried about me... a really long time ago." She snapped. They both stared at each other intensely and Brooke saw a light flicker in his eyes the way it used to. She wished she could just scream at him now, that he had no right to feel anything towards her anymore. That he was not allowed to stand there and tell who she could and couldn't be with. But they were interrupted when Peyton pranced over and wrapped her arms around Lucas's waist. Lucas Scott. Her ex boyfriend and the only guy she had ever let herself love completely. But Lucas Scott had never made her feel any of the things she was feeling with Chase now.

"What are you guys talking about?" Peyton asked with a big smile. She leaned up and gave Lucas a deep kiss and Brooke searched the crowd around her for that one face again. It wasn't there and she hoped desperately he'd soon come to save her.

"Chase..." Brooke replied with a huge smile at the sound of his name falling off of her lips. Peyton smiled at her and she looked like she was actually happy for her.

"Aw... You look really happy Brooke." Peyton smiled.

"So do you..." Brooke said in a smaller voice. They just stood there for a second, the atmosphere getting a little uncomfortable. "Lucas was just telling me..." Brooke started. She looked at Lucas, wondering if it would bother Peyton to know that her boyfriend was practically begging Brooke to not be with Chase. "He was just telling me how happy he is for me." She finally finished with a lie.

"That's really sweet."Peyton smiled at him. "You ready to go?" She directed towards him. Finally another swarm of students from a class that had obviously run a little late, came out the school doors.

"Yeah... I really missed you." He smiled down at her. He wrapped his arms tightly around her and began walking away while he kissed her. They stopped just a few feet down and began to kiss fiercely, oblivious to the fact that Brooke had been frozen in the middle of the lawn. It wasn't that she wanted Lucas back desperately or anything, it was just that it was still too weird for her to see them together like that. But they didn't seem to care.

She watched as Peyton smiled brightly at Lucas and then they kissed again. Peyton really did look happy, which made Brooke able to accept it more. It wasn't as much Lucas that she missed as her best friend. And though her feelings for Lucas were dissolving more and more as she spent time with Chase, she knew they'd never actually go away.

"That's them huh?" A familiar voice came from behind her. She twirled around and smiled up at Chase who was beaming back at her. Then he lifted his head and nodded towards Lucas and Peyton. "That's them?" He asked again.

Brooke sighed and looked at Lucas and Peyton again. Now they weren't kissing, and Peyton was talking to Haley and Nathan. She couldn't help but think, _I used to be a part of that group. _Haley looked over at Brooke and waved frantically, happy to see her. Brooke waved back, and then glanced at Lucas who was eyeing Chase.

"Yeah... that's them." She whispered.

"It's okay that you're uncomfortable around them still." Chase said to her, he reached down and tucked a piece of hair behind her ear, "You don't have to hide it from me."

Brooke smiled and shook her head in shock, he was too good to be true. "Actually, It's been easier lately... since you happened." She smiled. He wrapped his arms around her and pressed his face into her hair. Lucas was still watching constantly as the rest of the group looked on as well. The rest of them were smiling and impressed with how happy Chase seemed to make Brooke, while Lucas tried his best to ignore the growing worry inside him. He figured it was just natural for him now, to worry about Brooke, no matter where they stood, he'd always worry about her.

"So I saw them talking to you..." Chase finally broke their silence.

"Where were you?" Brooke whined. If he had been there all along, and if it was possible, why didn't he come help her out?

"In class, I was watching you from the window..." He smiled. "You looked sad when it was just the two of you. If I could have I would have come over... you know that."

"Yeah I know..." She smiled and glanced back over to the place where the group had been, but they had left and it was only Nathan and Haley walking along hand in hand. "I want you to meet my friends." Brooke smiled.

"Okay..." He said willingly. He walked with her as they watched Nathan and Haley sit on a bench. Haley looked tired with her broken leg and baby bump, but still happier than you'd think one person could ever be, and Nathan was just as happy as he wrapped his arm around Haley's shoulder and kissed her temple.

"Hey..." Brooke smiled as she reached the couple. Haley had one hand on her stomach and she smiled up at Brooke.

"Hey buddy..." She smiled back.

"Hey Brooke..." Nathan smiled as well.

"Guys, this is Chase." Brooke beamed. Haley and Nathan smiled at him. Haley reached out her hand and shook his and Nathan did the same.

"I'm Nathan..." He introduced himself, "This is my wife Haley... and this..." He said rubbing Haley's stomach. "Is my son Nathan junior." He smiled.

"Don't count on it!" Haley scoffed and the two girls laughed.

"Wow..." Chase said, "Congratulations."

"Thank you." Haley smiled at him. "Well, sorry Brooke but I have an appointment at the hospital, I just had to take a quick break, those crutches really hurt you know." Haley added. "But I do want to get to know your new _friend _more..." She raised her eyebrows at them.

"Haley, just say boyfriend." Nathan smirked.

"I don't know if they're going out or not." Haley said under her breath.

"I'm pretty sure Brooke has learned her lesson from the friends with benefits thing. And, we can all see that there are some benefits." Nathan laughed. Haley just shrugged and Brooke and Chase both blushed. Not as many benefits as Brooke was used to, but it was enough for her.

"Guys... we're right here." Brooke cut in. Nathan and Haley laughed. "And boyfriend it is... right?" Brooke directed towards Chase.

"Yes ma'am." Chase smiled. He leaned down and kissed her slowly, but didn't let it last too long, not wanting to be rude in front of Brooke's friends. Brooke pulled back and let a huge smile cross her face.

"Brooke's smiling. That's a plus in my books." Haley nodded at Chase. She stood up with her crutches and began to walk away.

"Mine too." Nathan smile. He reached out and clashed knuckles with Chase and smile at Brooke to acknowledge his approval. When they disappeared Brooke giggled happily and threw her arms around Chase's neck.

"My friends really like you." She smiled as they began to walk out to the parking lot. When they got there Peyton and Lucas were still kissing furiously, right in front of Peyton's car, which happened to be next to Brooke's.

"You have got to be kidding me." Chase groaned in Brooke defense.

"It's okay..." Brooke smiled, "As long as you're still with me." She leaned up and kissed him slowly, moaning in response to how good he was at it. Chase pulled away and smiled at her.

"I'll do whatever it takes to get you over that guy, to make you happy again." He whispered to her, as he pressed his forehead against her's.

"Just be you." She whispered to him. He nodded and then kissed her once more, tenderly and sweetly, all of his compassion and his longing for her pouring out of him and into her, like nothing she had ever experienced before.

_Anytime I need to see your face  
I just close my eyes  
And I am taken to a place where  
Your crystal mind and  
Magenta feelings take up shelter  
In the base of my spine  
Sweet like a chic a cherry cola _

I don't need to try and explain  
I just hold on tight  
And if it happens again I might move  
So slightly  
To the arms and the lips and the face  
Of the human cannonball  
That I need to I want to

Come stand a little bit closer  
Breath in and get a bit higher  
You'll never know what hit you  
When I get to you

* * *

There ya go! what do you think? LONG OR NOT? LOL... thanks!

Michelley P.


	2. Oh, What A Shame

Hey. So yes, I decided to make this a long fic. So here's chapter two. Kinda short but serves the purpose right? Yeah... here you go.

Disclaimer: I Do Not Own One Tree Hill !!

Michelley P.

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Chapter Two: Oh, What A Shame

Lucas Scott watched as Brooke Davis wrapped her arms around her new boyfriend. They were privately tucked in a small corner away from the rest of the student body. She had her head rested on his shoulder and he was smiling bright as he held her tightly. He couldn't believe how happy both of them looked. Brooke smiled with her eyes closed, and they weren't even doing anything, it seemed she was just happy being in Chase's presence. Chase pulled back and tucked a small piece of hair behind Brooke's ear, then kissed her cheek. They were like one of those fresh couples, new and crazy about each other, but not quite ready to be in love, but 'caring' for each other deeply.

Lucas sighed and turned to collide with Peyton. She gave him a confused look and then glanced over at the corner where Brooke and Chase were standing. With her hands on her hips, she gave him a look that forced him to explain.

"I'm still just..."

"Worried?" Peyton finished for him. He nodded and she shook her head in disappointment. Looking over at Brooke and Chase again, still smiling at one another, she gave Lucas a sad look, "I don't think you should be, Brooke's a big girl and it isn't your job to worry about her."

"I'm sorry, I know, old habits are hard to break I guess." He smiled. He leaned down in the middle of the hall and kissed her forcefully. She sighed but then kissed him back, not being able to resist though she wanted to at first.

"I have to get to class." She whispered to him as she pulled away. He smiled and twirled one of her blond curls with his finger. She kissed his cheek and then walked away, no longer wanting to watch her boyfriend act like so jealous around his ex. Lucas watched Peyton disappear down the hall and then turned to where Brooke and Chase had been. But now the corner was empty and Lucas sighed in fear. _If he hurts her..._ Lucas thought to himself.

* * *

"I know you lied... you know." Chase broke their silence as him and Brooke walked along the dock that night. He had his fingers wrapped around Brooke's and was hanging on for dear life. Brooke looked up in fear and wondered what he could be talking about. There were many things she had lied about in her life, many things she wouldn't want him to know about her, but deep down she knew that he knew it all.

"About your calculus test." He finished. He laughed at the look of relief on her face when he spoke, and then pulled her in under his arm. "Is there something I should know about?" He laughed, not really serious.

"There's lots that you should know about..." She said in a small voice. She walked along with him and snuggled into his side, enjoying the rush of dating again. But if anything were to come out of this, she wanted it to be drama free, no secrets or bad surprises.

"Such as?" he asked her. He kissed the top of her head to comfort her and let her know he was listening. She never had anyone be so considerate of her before.

"I don't know, I'm just... not really clean teen material." She admitted sadly. She waited for him to argue or demand an explanation, but there was just complete silence. His grip around her shoulders tightened and she felt another surge of relief.

"I know." He finally spoke. She stopped and looked up at him. He was actually smiling at her, just like he always did, and it confused her. She had never seen someone be so happy around her, and not care about what the other boys called her. "I know who you _were._" He smiled, "You know, dating the most popular girl in the school does cause some talk, and some girls have told me about all your previous _stunts._"

"WHAT GIRLS?" Brooke gasped with outrage.

"It doesn't matter!" Chase laughed, "I don't care! I know who you were, and I know who you are."

"But what makes you think they're not the same person?" She pleaded him, "I really think that if you knew the person I was over the last few years, you wouldn't have taken a second look at me." She said in a whisper.

"Yes I would have..." He said sweetly, "I knew before I even asked you out." He finally admitted.

"How?"

"The other Clean Teens." He grinned. "I kind of, asked them about you." He blushed. She laughed and then wrapped her arms around his neck.

"And you didn't care?" She whispered in disbelief.

"No... I mean, at first it seemed risky. But, I got to know you and you are not the person everyone thinks you are." He laid his forehead against her's and smiled into her eyes.

"Thank you." She whispered to him. She had never felt such longing radiating from one person in her life. She couldn't believe the way he was looking at her, as if there was no other person in this world that would capture his glance again. She saw such happiness in his eyes, and she knew this look so well because she saw it in herself everyday.

"But is it true that you were naked in the backseat of some guy's car?" Chase laughed. Brooke laughed too, and tried her best not to think of that moment. She was actually surprised, after spending so much time with Chase, thinking of it didn't hurt at all.

They walked hand in hand down the dock further where they heard a laughing group. Brooke didn't really pay much attention until they got closer. She saw Nathan, Haley, Lucas and Peyton all sitting around and laughing. The boys were on one side and the girls on the other and they were laughing so hard that Haley had her hand on her stomach from a stitch. Brooke lead Chase to the other side of the dock where the group couldn't see them, once more she couldn't help but think, _I should be there._

"Why didn't they invite you?" Chase asked when he felt Brooke's sadness.

"Because there's not enough room for me, Lucas _and _Peyton in that group anymore." She whispered.

"Oh... because either you or Peyton would have to be alone.. As in, without Lucas?" Chase asked. Brooke had her head down, should she dare to say it? She looked and Chase and he was smiling sweetly.

"Yeah. I guess it bothers all them more than it bothers me. I mean, I'm the one who's without him and they're the ones uncomfortable." Brooke said confidently.

"Well..." Chase smiled. He pulled her into his side again and he could feel how much she missed her friends. He didn't think it was fair that they would exclude her completely like they've been doing, "I hope we can change that soon." He kissed the top of her head and she leaned into him sadly. She hoped too.

* * *

"Have any of you guys been talking to Brooke?" Haley asked when the group stopped laughing. Nathan waited for their answer the same way Haley did, but Peyton and Lucas just cough nervously and tried to avoid the question.

"Guys, we can't do this!" Nathan bursted in.

"Do what?" Lucas asked defensively.

"Ignore her, exclude her." Haley finished for her husband. They all leaned back against their seats and stared down at the table. "I really miss her. She's supposed to be here." Haley said in a small, sad voice.

"What the hell are we supposed to do?" Lucas snapped, everyone looked at him, surprised about how upset he was getting from talking about her, "Invite her and her new boyfriend along?" He asked sarcastically.

"Why not?" Peyton spoke up. Nathan and Haley bit their lips and stared at the couple. Lucas just looked at Peyton, unsure of how to answer her question. Why not?

_You have a way of coming easily to me_

_and when you take, you take the very best of me_

_so I start a fight cause I need to feel something_

_and you do what you want cause I'm not what you wanted_

_Oh what a shame, what a rainy ending to a perfect day_

_just walk away, ain't no use defending words that you will never say_

_and now that I'm sitting here thinking it through_

_I've never been anywhere cold as you_

_You put up walls and paint them all a shade of gray_

_and I stood there loving you and wished them all away_

_and you come away with a great little story_

_of a mess of a dreamer with the nerve to adore you_

* * *

_There you go. Hope you liked. Review Please!_

_Michelley P..._


	3. It's Not Over

OKay so it's been awhile.. sorry... but this one is... short and hopefully sweet:P lol.. so there you go, there's my huge introduction...

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Chapter Three: It's Not Over

He watched her, as she brushed a small piece of hair out of her eyes and concentrated so hard on her English. She squinted down at her page and he laughed at how she refused to get glasses. He closed his eyes to happily remember all the amazing moment they've had together. He watched her as she pulled her dark hair back into a pony tail and smiled at him slightly when she caught his gaze. Then she casually went back to her work, in a way Brooke Davis never would have. She was definitely changing, for the better. He knew Chase was the reason for that, and it made him wish he could be the reason.

Lucas was snapped out of his day dream when Peyton pulled her desk up next to his.

"What's going on?" He asked, completely oblivious to the fact that everyone else around him was doing the same. He looked over to see Chase and Brooke sitting together, and beneath their desks, their hands were tied together, and they were smiling at each other.

"Have you been sleeping all class or what?" Peyton laughed. Lucas laughed and nodded, then kissed the side of Peyton's head to remind himself of how great he had it with her. "Good dream?" She said with a smirk.

"Yeah..." he said sincerely.

* * *

"Brooke!" An old familiar voice called from behind her. "Wait!"

Brooke turned around in the middle of the parking lot and watched as an out of breath Peyton ran up to her. "What's going on?" Brooke asked. She was digging around in her purse for her keys and stopped in mid action to stare at Peyton.

"Umm.." Brooke begun to walk to her car and she pulled open her door. "Can I get a ride with you?" Peyton said with a genuine smile. _Don't you have a boyfriend?_ Brooke thought at first. But she shrugged and nodded.

"Sure whatever." She tried to ignore the fact that Peyton was acting like things were fine, as if they were still best friends. The got in the car and Brooke pulled out of the parking lot.

"So there's something I wanted to talk to you about." Peyton finally added. _There it is. _Brooke thought, knowing that Peyton wasn't just asking her for a ride because she wanted to ride with her. Brooke was zooming down a quiet street, which was common in Tree Hill. "I think Lucas is still in love with you." She blurted out. Brooke slammed on her brakes and looked at Peyton. Her expressions had totally changed and her lip was quivering while her eyes brimmed with tears.

Brooke pulled over to the side and turned around to look tiredly at Peyton, "Why do you think that. Lucas loves you. Trust me, if anyone knows, I do!" Brooke reassured her. But Brooke was actually annoyed, why would Peyton think she could talk about her problems with Luke, with _her._

"He keeps looking at you.. With Chase. Like he misses you." Peyton whispered.

"Why are you telling me this?" Brooke felt like she was about to cry with Peyton. She was finally moving on with her life and Lucas Scott had the nerve to stir things up again.

"Because... Lucas is a jerk." Peyton said. Brooke was surprised.

"Isn't he your..." She struggled with the word, "Boyfriend?"

"Yeah. But we all know this already right? He's Lucas Scott and he can be a jerk. If he hurts me then... fine, I chose this right? But you got out!" Peyton seemed like she actually cared about Brooke, which made Brooke want to hug her and tell her how much she missed her and the rest of her friends. "You and Chase seem to be so happy together." Brooke stared at Peyton. Her blond hair was curly again and Brooke liked that. As it blew in the small draft, it reminded Brooke of all of the times they'd ride together like this in her convertible with the top down.

"We are." Brooke whispered. She looked at Peyton again, for some reason she couldn't stop, there was so many familiar features about her today. And she was wearing that pink sweater. Peyton _never_ wore pink. And she never wore that sweater. "I bought you that sweater." Brooke breathed.

"Fall sale at Macy's." Peyton nodded

"You've never worn it before." Brooke seemed awestruck.

Peyton shrugged, "It's the only thing of my best friend I have left." She stared Brooke in the eye and both of the girls' eyes filled with tears.

"So about Lucas..." Brooke tried to change the subject. "Seriously, why would you tell me that."

"Because I think you and Chase really have something. I wanted to give you a heads up. Be careful and don't throw it away because of Lucas." Peyton seemed to warn her.

"Are you just telling me that because you're afraid Lucas will leave you?" Brooke spat out. "Because he won't. Peyton!" She grabbed Peyton's hands and tightened her grip on them, "trust me, he's crazy about you." The tears in her eyes spilled over, "If anyone knows, I do. Because I loved him the same way he loved you. Trust me, it's too much to just give up on."

"Do you still love him that much?" Peyton whispered, crying with Brooke. Brooke nodded.

"I always will. But I don't want him anymore. He's just... not the one anymore." Brooke became satisfied with this explanation, as if it pinned things together for herself as well.

"What if Lucas feels the same about me?" Peyton asked.

"I think maybe Lucas loved you more than I loved him. Because... It was your love that won right? So it was like... stronger?" Brooke was never a girl to be sentimental, so this was the best she could do.

"It wasn't a contest. Not for me." Peyton smiled sadly. Brooke nodded with understanding. "So Chase..." Peyton tried to lighten the mood as Brooke started driving again. She noticed how Brooke smiled as soon as she said his name, "How do you feel about him?"

Brooke shrugged. "I don't know what to say. He's just... amazing." Brooke smiled and let out a deep sigh. "He's... oh God!" Brooke laughed. She ran a hand over her face. "I can't find the words to describe him."

"Are you in love with him?" Peyton dared to ask. Brooke slammed on her brakes again and Peyton flew forward again. "Would you stop doing that?" Peyton laughed. Brooke's face seemed to be drained of color and she looked over at Peyton.

"In love?" She breathed, "I mean. I don't know. No. We just got together. I mean... wow." She said all in one breath as quickly as humanly possible. It seemed like they'd been driving forever, because the sky was getting dark and it began to break open with it's own tears. They fell down on top of the girls and they both laughed.

"I think you do." Peyton laughed. Her curly hair was flat under the heavy rain and strings of it enveloped her face.

"It's too soon for that." Brooke laughed back. Then they drove on, not bothering to put the top up. There was a freedom surfacing. As if everything was in the past and they were both able to move on. Brooke felt like she used to when she was a little girl and her and Peyton would splash around in the rain. Peyton couldn't feel anything, there was a numbing in her body, from being so happy.

_Let's Start over_

_Try to do it right this time around_

_It's not over_

_But a part of me is dead and in the ground._

_This love is killing me but you're the only one._

_It's not over_

* * *

_There you go... let me know what you think guys..._

_Michelley P._


	4. Here With Me

Here's Another Chapter! Please Please Please Review This One Guys!

Disclaimer: I Don't Own OTH! It's That Simple! LOL

Michelley P.

* * *

Chapter Four: Here With Me

"Hey Brooke." Haley smiled gently as she sat next to her at the picnic table outside the school. Brooke glanced up from the book she was writing in and smiled softly. She moved the bag next to her to give Haley more room, then continued writing. "How are you?" She asked, trying her best to make conversation.

"I'm fine." Brooke nodded. Finally, she closed the book where she had been writing her's and Chase's name, and not even realizing it. She turned towards Haley and for the first time in a long time noticed how big her belly had gotten. She raised her eyebrows at her and smiled, "How are _you?_" She grinned.

Haley laughed and placed her hand on her stomach, "I feel like I'm about to bust. But otherwise, I'm great." She smiled. Brooke noticed Haley jump a little, then rub her stomach.

"He's a fighter huh?" Brooke smiled. She placed her hand on Haley's stomach and felt the constant kicks of the baby. Haley just smiled and nodded, every now and then jumping from t he hard kicks.

"Yeah he's kind of rough." She smiled.

"He's a Scott." Brooke laughed. Haley nodded and breathed a deep breath of discomfort. "You okay?" Brooke asked with concern from the pain her friend seemed to be in.

"Yeah... I think, it's just getting close to that time." Haley groaned.

"Wow..." Brooke whispered. She hadn't realized so much time had been passing. Here was Haley James Scott, any time now she'd be a mother. "How are you taking this?" Brooke bit her lip.

"I'm terrified." Haley confided.

"What about Nathan?"

"I don't know." Haley leaned forward as best she could and then back again, as if she couldn't get comfortable. "I haven't really told him how afraid I am." She admitted. "I haven't told anyone."

Brooke sat up straight and pushed her book away from her, "Haley? You haven't talked to anyone about this?" Haley shook her head. "Why not?"

"You're the only one I would have normally talked to about this stuff." Haley sighed, "And then everything happened between you and Peyton and it seems like we... you know, lost touch."

"Yeah, I've noticed that too." Brooke put her head down, lately she had never felt so distant from all of her friends. "It's just, weird I guess... or it was. Now I don't know what's going on. Things between Peyton and I are pretty good. I don't know why things have to be so stupid with everyone else." She twiddled her thumbs in her lap and sighed.

"I'm sorry." Haley blurted desperately. Brooke nodded and hugged her.

"I should have tried to be around more, ya know?" Brooke added, "especially with you carrying my nephew." She grinned.

Haley nodded and laughed, then rubbed her stomach again, which she had a tendency to do now. "You're going to be great." Brooke winked at her. Haley smiled and then looked around the now empty lawn for her ride. "Where's Nathan?"

"He's got a game now... so I'm gonna wait around for him I guess." Haley looked around again and put her hand on her belly, once more looking uncomfortable.

"You want to ride home with me?" Brooke asked. It was out of her way, but Haley didn't seem like she was in much of a state to be waiting around a sweaty gym.

Haley looked over her shoulder and saw Skills on his way to the game. "Okay..." She nodded, "I'll get Skills to let Nathan know." She got up with a short breath and walked over to him.

* * *

They were cruising down an empty road when Brooke looked over at Haley. She had her head against the window of the car and her eyebrows were drawn together in discomfort.

"Haley... is this normal?" Brooke asked her with worry, "To be in this much pain?" She slowed down a little when Haley crouched over with a sharp pain. "Haley?"

"I don't know!" She shouted. Brooke stared at her as Haley grabbed her arm. "Brooke... I think maybe..." She looked at Brooke and nodded. Brooke stopped the car and turned around.

"Shit!" Brooke exclaimed. Haley let out a loud shriek as Brooke drove as fast, but safe as she could.

* * *

The waiting room was crowded with students from their school. It seemed like most of them didn't even know Haley, but they were there anyways, waiting and hoping. Brooke sat on the couch with the girls from the cheerleading squad, braiding Bevin's hair to keep her hands from shaking. Over by the doors, Lucas paced back and forth, with Peyton right behind him. Karen and Deb were drinking coffee by the gallons and Dan just watched everyone around from the nurses' desk.

"This is crazy!" Brooke heard a girl squeal. "I'm so excited!" Brooke rolled her eyes, that was the same girl who gave Haley a hard time for going on tour, now she was such a _huge_ part of her life. Brooke stopped braiding Bevin's hair and got up.

"Hey." She smiled at Lucas and Peyton when she got next to them. Peyton smiled brightly at her while Lucas tried to be pleasant, but couldn't make eye contact with her for more than five seconds at a time. "This is pretty nuts right?" Brooke smiled. She jammed her hands into her pockets and let out a shaky breath.

"Yeah..." Lucas answered her. He pulled Peyton into his shoulder protectively, and both Brooke and Peyton noticed this. Brooke shifted uncomfortably and looked around. Just as she did, the door flew open and the one person she had been longing for made his way in. He looked so lost and out of place amongst all these people he didn't know. He was pretty sure that the rest of the Clean Teens wouldn't be here. But he was here anyways, just in case Brooke felt as lost as he did.

"Chase..." Brooke breathed happily. She slipped away from Peyton and Lucas and pushed her way through the crowd. The smile on her face grew as she watched Chase walk towards her. He reached out his arms and wrapped her inside of them. Pressing his forehead against her's, he looked her in the eyes.

"I missed you today." He whispered. His smile was so bright that it overwhelmed her.

"Me too." She smiled back.

Peyton and Lucas watched her as she hugged Chase happily, stopping now and then to kiss him.

"I have never seen her so happy." Peyton stated, turning to Lucas to find him still staring. She folded her arms in front of her and waited for Lucas to break his fixed stare.

"Me neither." Lucas finally said. He turned to Peyton and saw the worry in her eyes when she looked at him. He hadn't realized how she must have been taking the way he'd been acting lately. "I'm sorry Peyton." She was still looking at him, and there were tears growing in her eyes. "It's not what you think."

"I think you still love her, or want her or... something." She whispered defensively to him. Her chin quivered.

"I'm so sorry!" He sighed. He reached out and pulled her close, expecting her to pull away, but she didn't. She fell into his chest and tried her hardest to not cry. "It's not like that. It's just.. I've seen Brooke hurt before and I don't want to see it happen again." he explained.

"You do remember who hurt her last time right?" Peyton added. Lucas nodded and swallowed hard, "After everything we put her through, I don't think we have any right to decide whose right for her."

Once again, Lucas nodded, "I just don't want to see her get hurt."

"I know... neither do I. But like I said, it's not for us to decide. We lost that right long ago!" Peyton complained.

"This is going to be a long night." Lucas sighed, sitting down on a couch and pulling Peyton down with him.

* * *

"I haven't seen much of you lately." Chase said to Brooke as he sat on the couch with her.

"I know!" She whined. She turned to him and wrapped her arms around his waist. It was like she just couldn't get close enough to him. "And I've missed you. I've had stuff going on with Peyton and my friends and now Haley's having her baby. But she seemed really sick so I'm kind of worried. And... and I missed you." She said again.

"It was only like... a day." Chase grinned. He ran his fingers up and down her bare arm.

"I know, and I've missed you more in that day than I have anyone in my life." She said in disbelief. She couldn't believe the words coming out of her mouth. There was so much she wanted to say to him, but she promised herself she wouldn't fall that far again, not yet anyways.

"Me too." He whispered. He kissed her sweetly and then pulled away and ran his thumb along his cheek. There were words on his tongue, threatening to come out, but he bit them back. He was just as afraid of all of this as Brooke was, which was why it all seemed to be easy with them.

"I'm so glad you're here now though." She bit her lip and kissed him again. He moaned at how great it felt to be with her like this, and at his own frustration to do more.

"Me too." He whispered into her lips.

* * *

There you go. please review? Pretty Please?

Michelley P.


	5. Lost For Words

Disclaimer: I Don't Own One Tree Hill !! LOL

Hey everyone. It's taking me a really long time to update lately huh? Sorry lol...

Here's another chapter, I hope you enjoy...

* * *

Chapter Five: Lost For Words

Broke opened her eyes to find the waiting room much emptier than before. She looked around for Chase, but remembered how he had left hours earlier, saying he'd return when he got things done. She sat up and rubbed her eyes. Through the window it looked dark and wet out. Her neck hurt from the old couch and she shivered from the chill.

4:37am. She realized that she had been sleeping longer than she thought, and Chase hadn't returned. And by the looks of things, Haley was still in labor. It had been over twelve hours since Brooke had brought her here. On the couch across from her, Peyton was sleeping soundly, Lucas's jacket covering her shoulders. Brooke stared at the jacket, it significance hitting her hard. She sighed and stared at the jacket she had bought Lucas, the one she saw in the store window and _knew_ it was look amazing on him. So she couldn't resist, she had bought the jacket and rushed to Lucas's to give it to him. He laughed at her, how clothing and style always seemed to define who she was and what she did. But he thanked her for the jacket all the same. Boy, did he ever thank her.

Brooke shook her head from the thought and looked away from her sleeping friend. But the memory of Lucas's thank-you kept haunting her. The way he had kissed her, among other things. And now that one thing that had brought them together like that, was covering someone who was supposed to be her best friend. Supposed to be, but Brooke Davis knew all too well that thing hardly ever turned out how they were supposed to.

She couldn't help it. She let a small tear escape her eye. Just because she was with Chase now, didn't mean she couldn't still hurt over how things turned out, and it didn't mean she couldn't still miss Lucas now and then. Did it?

"What's wrong?" a familiar voice whispered from behind her. He came around and sat next to her, handed her a cup of coffee. She took the coffee and stared at him sadly. It hurt so much to think of the mess she had made of things. She stared down at her hands on the coffee, as Lucas reached out and touched them. She flinched, and he pulled away. "Brooke?" he questioned again.

She swallowed hard and glanced back at the jacket again, as Peyton shifted a little, but fell back asleep. Brooke thought about the night she gave him it again. Her and Chase hadn't even come close to being that way in the month or so they'd been together. This was knew for Brooke, and even worst it was hard. She didn't _need_ the sex. Not really. But, just knowing that so many _other_ emotions were involved in her new relationship, it scared her. She had to be completely, emotionally involved, rather than physically like any other relationship before.

"Things okay with you and Chase?" Lucas asked again. He hadn't realized his hand was still on her's, and he pulled it away like he had been burned.

"Yeah..." she finally choked out. She smiled through her growing amount of tears. "Things are amazing." she let out a small sob and bit her lip nervously. The last person she wanted to see her cry was Lucas. Lucas looked at her, then rubbed her back. It felt so familiar to both of them, that neither tried to stop it. He kept his hand then, on her lower back, right in the space where the skin was exposed between her jeans and her twisted sweater. She _wanted_ him to move it, so why couldn't she just ask him to?

"If things are so amazing, why are you crying?" he gave her a sad smile and then waited for her to respond, still unable to remove his hand from where he had it on her back.

"Because..." she searched for the right words to explain how she was feeling. How Chase was the most perfect person she had ever met, and she could feel herself falling for him badly. But having to be so emotionally involved with someone scared her. And the truth was, now and then, she wished things were the way they used to be, when she could make up for her lack of emotional involvement with physical involvement. With Lucas. She looked at him, then shook her head. "No." she finally shook her head, and stood up, feeling his hand glide of her back, "I can't talk to you about this. I can't."

Lucas nodded, "Yeah. I understand." he smiled. She swallowed the lump in her throat and nodded back. "I'm going to go for a walk. Want to join me?" he offered. She shook her head quickly, afraid that if she waited any longer, she'd say yes. Once more he just smiled and then went along on his own. As he passed by her, he whirled one arm around her waist and pressed his lip to her cheek. She shivered sadly, "Let me know if you get any news." he whispered as he dropped his hand and walked away. She just nodded and stayed frozen in that one spot, even as he disappeared down the hall.

* * *

Lucas walked outside of the hospital and sat on a bench near the path to the parking lot. He rested his head in his hands and fought back his very own tears. It was still lightly raining, but he didn't care. He smiled up at the rain, at the memories it brought to him.

_The difference? The difference is I love you Brooke, I want to be with you, NOT Peyton._

So much for that. He thought. Had he completely forgotten the things he declared to Brooke that night? The reasons he loved her seemed to fade out. Had his own words completely slipped his mind. Or had he lied to Brooke all along? When he decided he loved Peyton, had he forgotten how Brooke kinked her eyebrow? Or the way she quoted Camus? Did it slip his mind how she had worried this would happen, and how he promised it wouldn't? He shook his head, disgusted with himself. How was this possible? To love two completely different girls _so_ much that it tore him apart.

"I knew your first child took long to deliver. But geez." A voice said. Chase plopped down in the remainder of the bench next to Lucas. His hair was stuck up and he looked cold and tired. With his hands in the pockets of his sweatshirt, he slumped over and looked at the sky where the rain got thinner and thinner.

"What are you doing here?" Lucas looked at his watch, "It's ten to five in the morning." he pointed out.

"Yeah. I wasn't going to come back until the morning. But I didn't want Brooke to be here alone all night." Chase said. He scratched his head and yawned.

"Oh." Lucas stared at him. Would _he_ have gone to the hospital at this time for Brooke, when a friend of her's- who he didn't know- was having a baby? Probably not, but that's the reason she was with Chase now, not him, right? "She's not alone." Lucas snapped, annoyed at how perfect Chase seemed.

"I know." Chase said. He looked around casually.

"Are you in love with her?" Lucas asked, desperately needed to hear him say no. Chase looked at him and kinked his eyebrow, the same way Brooke would if he had asked her. Then he shrugged and rolled his eyes.

"What's it to you?" Chase asked defensively. Whether or not he did, was something he wanted to say to Brooke, not her ex boyfriend.

"Because..." Lucas sat up straight and gripped Chase's sweater in his fist, "If you hurt her, I swear to..." He stopped. Chase looked down at Lucas's fist and shook his head impatiently, not one bit fazed about whether or not Lucas would hurt him.

He finally stood up and back away from Lucas, towards the hospital, "I am _not_ you." he simply said, then dashed inside to meet up with his girlfriend. Lucas stood there and watched him go, hoping that _that_ be the reason Chase and Brooke broke up. Because Chase is _not_ him.

* * *

"Hey." Chase whispered into Brooke's ear. She was sitting on the couch, trying her hardest to not think about the jacket that was keeping Peyton warm. He kissed her cheek and wrapper his arms around her.

She jolted into his arms, clinging her arms around his neck and nuzzling her face into his neck. "I'm so glad you're here." She whispered.

He tightened his grip in her, worried that something had upset her, "What's wrong?" he asked with general concern.

"It's been a really long night." she simply explained.

"Hard huh? Just you and those two." he nodded at Peyton. She loved how it didn't bother him that she was still hurting. She nodded and searched his eyes for a sign that it was okay to still hurt, and she found it.

He leaned in and kissed her gently, twisting a piece of hair behind her ear. She pulled back and looked at him again, "It was hard... at first. But then I thought of you." She grinned. She honestly didn't think it was possible to be this happy, all because of one person. Just one person out of the six billion in the world, just one person was able to make her happier than she ever dreamed of being. She ached to say those words to him, just as she always had lately. Those three words that were so small but at the same time so big. Those words could break her heart, so she held them back, waiting until she was sure it was how she felt. Normally talking came easy to her, but with Chase, it was the little words that she got stuck on. The little words that meant so much. Like these.

Heavy, tired footsteps approached from the direction of the delivery room. Nathan stood there and smirked, "We have our son!" He grinned.

I am tired of tears and lies  
And I think its time to let go of the past  
I am scared a little but that's ok  
I can smile  
Now I can laugh

For with every touch of your gentle hand  
I forget all the pain best I can

A change is coming  
I feel so free at last tonight  
I start to see a future bright  
I dare to dream  
I catch my breath  
Reborn I'm ready for what's next  
And if they ask me why it's so  
To every single question  
The answer is you 

I'm inspired by your ideas  
And your strength empowers me  
More than you know  
I was lost but somehow you found me out  
I'm alive  
I'm ready to go  
And with every kiss I lose track of time  
Guess I'm leaving my old life behind

And I'm elated by the world of possibilities I see  
You make me wanna be the best  
That I could ever hope to be

I feel it coming

Yeah I can I feel it

_

* * *

_There ya go.. review please...

and by the way... what date is One Tree Hill coming back on? And Grey's? Anyone know ? lol.. thank you.

Michelley P.


	6. Let Me Fall

Thanks for the PM unattended flame... let's see if it works now...

Hello Strangers! lol, and yes that's my fault. I've been super busy and I apologize. But without further delay... here's another chapter. And in advance... I'm sorry...

Disclaimer: I Don't Own OTH

Michelley P.

Chapter Six: Let Me Feel

His fingers danced along her thighs, and made her shiver on his touch. She moaned as his hand traveled from her leg to her stomach area, outlining the space between her t shirt and her jeans, all while not once removing his mouth from her's. She couldn't believe how amazing this felt. She had been with guys before, and a lot of them were great, but Chase? She had never experienced this much pleasure from being so close to someone. It was like they were having sex, without having sex at all. His hand massages her ribs and tickled her, and she grinned into his mouth. Dare she say it? Those words popped into her mind again and she did her best to push them out. She was terrified. Was it really possible to love one person this much? After loving someone else. She thought Lucas was the one for her, but now... she was starting to believe that what she felt for Lucas didn't hold a candle to what she felt for Chase. There were times when she missed Lucas though, and she worried that she'd never get over him. But right in that moment, when her and Chase were probably as close as they'd get for a really long time... she didn't want anyone else.

"Chase..." Brooke groaned as she pulled back for air. Her t shirt was twisted around her, above her ribs, and Chase sighed loudly as he pulled away from her mouth. He kissed a line on her stomach, and then finally fell on his back next to her, breathing heavily. Brooke felt like crying. There were two firsts for her in this situation. It was the first time she had ever wanted someone so bad, and the first time she couldn't have them.

"Oh God..." She heard Chase moan. She looked over and laughed at how frustrated he was. She knew this was hard for her, but it never occurred to her that it had to be equally as hard for him. She pulled herself over to lay her head on his chest, and he pulled her closer. Finally, he couldn't take the distance anymore. He pulled her up on top of him and closed the distance between their mouths. Brooke giggled, and kissed him back just as hard as he had kissed her. She felt him tumble down at her belt buckle.

She was surprised, she had always thought that this would come later for them, and when it did, she'd be making the first move. But Chase was doing an excellent job at making that move. He had already conquered her belt and moved for her button. She wanted this just as bad as he did. But not now. What had attracted her to Chase in the first place was this. His innocence, his difference. She loved him because she could be close to him and not _have_ to be _that_ close.

Chase's heart pounded. In the strength of Brooke's kiss he knew that this was where she'd normally move this. He knew that in order to keep up with her feelings for Lucas, he'd have to keep up with him in general. The last thing he wanted to do was lose Brooke, and he was pretty sure he'd do anything to make her happy, maybe even compromise his own beliefs.

"Chase..." Brooke whined. Maybe he didn't realize that it wasn't just his beliefs anymore, it was her's too. She may not have believed in waiting until marriage, but at least waiting a lot longer than she did with Lucas. She fell onto her back again and buckled up her belt. He just nodded and sat up sadly.

"I'm sorry." He said simply. She rubbed his back and he kept his head in his hands.

"It's okay..." She whispered, "But I thought that you... you know.. Too." He just looked at her with confusion and laughed at how talking about this with him mad her blush, while before he came along, she'd be able to talk about it with a stranger on the side of the road. "I didn't think you wanted to do this... yet."

"Are you kidding me?" Chase smiled. He turned around to face her and rubbed her leg, squeezing her calf. "Of course I _want _this." He blushed too.

"But I thought you wanted to wait..." She clarified.

"I do... but then I was thinking about you and..." His voice traveled off.

"Wanted me that bad huh?" Brooke laughed and then nudged him with her foot. He laughed and shook his head.

"No." He said abruptly. She raised her eyebrows in disbelief and shock and he realized what he had said. "I mean... yeah..." His eyes danced across her body and made her blush again. "Of course I wanted you... but... I was thinking about you and Lucas." He finally spat out.

"Ew... Chase... weird fantasies!" Brooke tried to push it off as a joke, but then saw the seriousness in his face, "Why were you thinking about that."

"I saw him the other day at the hospital. He still loves you ya' know?" He whispered. Brooke sighed and broke eye contact with him. She hated talking about her and Lucas, because she hated admitting that she still loved Lucas too. But she knew that it really meant nothing. She'd always love Lucas, but she was certain she didn't want to be with him anymore. And she was certain she loved Chase much more. She shifted away from Chase. It was bad enough to know that Lucas loved her still, but to hear _Chase_ say it... it stung. "I know you guys have... you know. Brooke are you listening?" He finally stopped as he saw her looking very uncomfortable and holding back the tears.

"I don't like talking about Lucas!" She spat out, a little harsher than she meant to.

"Why?" He looked at her coldly, but still waited for her to answer.

"Because.. I just don't." She began to yell as he kept pushing it.

"You still love him?" He seemed very calm, but Brooke could see the hurt in his eyes. He needed her to say no. He maybe even needed her to. But she couldn't.

"Yes." She nodded as she finally let the tears fall. He stood up to leave, but she held his arm to keep him next for her, trying to hold onto him for as long as she could, btu it wasn't long enough. Because it wasn't long until he wiggled free and stood in the doorway. "Chase!" She cried. She ran over to him and this time he didn't walk away. He held her tight and let out a frustrated sigh.

"I want to be with you Brooke, but I can't now.. Not until you straighten out your feelings for Lucas. When you finally put him behind you. Come find me." He kissed her forehead and disappeared., this time she didn't try to stop him. He was right, she still had a lot of history to fix behind she doomed herself to repeat it.

* * *

Brooke watched as her friend rocked the newborn baby back and forth in his arms. Nathan wouldn't exactly be the type of guy you'd point out as the father type, but that he was. He smiled down at his baby boy and kissed his forehead as the quiet, perfect baby slept soundly.

"That's amazing." Brooke whispered under her breath. Nathan just grinned constantly at Calum, his new son and shook his head in amazement.

"Did you hear about Lucas and Peyton?" Haley asked as she walked out of the room with Calum's blanket in her hand. She wrapped it around Calum and attempted to take him from Nathan, but he refused. "I never get time with him..." She laughed to Brooke.

"It's adorable..." She smiled at Nathan, "Wait, what about Lucas and Peyton?" Brooke tried to act distracted, as if she didn't care, but she really did, for reasons she wanted to deny.

"They broke up... Peyton couldn't handle his jealousy." Haley said with surprise in her voice. She automatically felt bad for saying this to Brooke, but she needed to know, "he still wants you... bad." Haley gave her a look of concern, like a mother would to a child when she was afraid of what was to come.

"Don't look at me like that! You may be a mother now but you're not my mother!" Brooke whined to her.

"VOICES!" Nathan said in a harsh, annoyed whisper, "LOWER!..." Both girls rolled their eyes at him and went on with their conversation.

"I'm not going to go back with Lucas... whether Chase and I are broke up or not." Brooke confirmed, but she was terrified that there seemed to be too much doubt in her voice.

"You and Chase broke up?" Nathan cut in again.

"Nathan, he can sleep in his crib, you know!" Haley tried to sound mean, but she loved the look of them together.

"No, I want to keep him here." Nathan said in a cute voice, looking down at the baby again.

"Yes." Brooke's chin quivered. "We did... and I miss him... and..."

Before Brooke could finish her sentence, Haley cut in, "Why'd you break up?"

"Lucas... he wants me to sort out my old feelings before him and I get too serious." Brooke nodded, trying to be mature and what-not, but she couldn't fight back the tears.

"Aww... are you okay?" Haley sat next to Brooke and hugged her. She nodded and wiped away a few stranded tears.

"It makes sense you know... but, Chase he... he just doesn't understand how much I love him." Brooke broke out into full sobs which caused Nathan to rush the baby into the room and place him in the crib, returning with the monitor securely in his hand. He sat on the other side of Brooke and rubbed her back. Brooke thought about her words. There they were, she loved him. If only he was here to hear it.

"You love him?" Haley smiled at her, happy that her friend had finally been able to move on and fall in love again.

"Yeah..."

"Does he know that?" Nathan asked. Brooke shook her head and then cried again. No one bothered telling her to tell him, they knew she would on her own time. For now they just let her cry, praying that soon Lucas Scott would erase himself from her life and let her move on.

* * *

It's sudden, I know... but... well.. there it was... for what i want to happen in the story, it needed to end quickly and awkwardly.. because then by doing that it means that there are still a lot of feeligns there... but we all know Chase right? he isn't the type of guy to hang on just for the sake of holding on. He's the type of guy who wants the girl's heart to be completely his and we ALL know that at this point, some of Brooke's heart is still with Lucas. So there you go... please don't be too mad... and most importantly... don't WORRY! lol..

Michelley P.

Review Please!!!!!


	7. Hitting The Ground

Hey... when this comes up on your screen is there a HUGE space between this part and the words? There is for me! Anyways... I know there was some trouble for some people to open the last chapter but I hope you all got it afterwards... and I hope there's no problem with this chapter... because here it is, Chapter Seven.

Disclaimer: I Do Not Own One Tree Hill

I really hope you like this chapter (not what happens in it, but the chapter itself!) lol

Michelley P.

Chapter Seven: Hitting The Ground

Brooke hugged herself as she slowly walked around the quad outside of the school. Her whole body was shaking and she realized that she was being pathetic. She was watching. Just to see if he was as miserable as she was. Just to be lucky enough to see him smile or laugh. Maybe even talk to him. She felt the way she was sure they did in movies. When the one you want doesn't want you too. She felt like the girls in the movies who daydreamed over his smile and slowed her pace in the halls when she walked past his locker as he was talking to his friends, just as an opportunity to get to hear his voice, even if it wasn't talking to her.

She shuddered when the reality of the situation hit her again- he wasn't her's anymore. This wasn't like any break up she had experienced before. Of course, normally she was doing the breaking, but it was weird knowing that the reason for the break up was that they felt too much for each other rather than not enough. She felt her chin quiver as he finally emerged into the sunlight from the school doors. He placed his hands on his forehead as a way to block the sun, and then stretched as if he had once again slept through fifth-period algebra. She smiled, and tasted her salty tears in the crooks of her mouth. She didn't want to look at him, because it burned her, but she didn't want to not look at him either. She was terrified that if she even turned away from him for a second, when she turned back he'd be gone.

Another figure appeared at Chase's side, and they chatted as if they were long lost friends. She looked a little way over from her, at Peyton. She was standing in the same position that Brooke was standing in. Tears falling off of her chin. She felt bad for Peyton, but somehow wish that things were as easy for herself as they were for Peyton. Sure, Peyton had to let go of the one person she loved more than anything in the world, just as Brooke was trying to do, if only for a little while, but Peyton had a reason. Lucas was overwhelmingly jealous over Brooke and Chase's relationship that it drive Peyton mad. And Brooke felt bad for that. _But_ at least that was a reason. Chase's reason made no sense to Brooke. They loved each other too much? But she had to wait until she sorted out her feelings for Lucas first. It was that the reason itself didn't make sense. She knew that she wouldn't want to be in a relationship with anyone who still had feelings for someone else. But the timing and even the way Chase had looked at her, it was all off.

It was as though there was something else holding him back. Something he didn't want to admit or even face himself. Brooke walked over and stood next to Peyton. Peyton glanced at her in acknowledgment and then they both just stared at their boys standing on the stairs talking about the latest basketball game.

"Sorry about you and Luke..." Brooke whispered, as if both her and Peyton were too delicate to communicate anymore.

"It's not your fault..." Peyton snapped at first, and Brooke knew that somewhere inside of her she did blame Brooke for the break up, "Sorry about you and Chase..." She completed.

Brooke shrugged and swallowed hard as the tears in her eyes blurred her vision. Peyton stared at her in surprise, "This is unlike you." She said simply.

"What is?" Brooke sniffed.

"This is the part where you walk around with your head high and say you don't need him, that you're better off." Peyton wiped away her own tear and tried to smile at Brooke, but the look on Brooke's face was even more heartbreaking than any break up anyone could ever face. She looked so alone. So lost, so unBrooke. Or maybe it _was_ Brooke, and Chase brought out who she really was. And now he wasn't a part of her anymore, and she looked like everything inside of her had been ripped to shreds and thrown on the ground to be trampled by every single student in this school that was passing by her and starring in disbelief at the tears falling to her toes.

"It was different this time. I love him." Brooke croaked through her heavy tears that she could not get to stop. But in a way though, she hardly tried. Normally she would never want the whole student body to see her so fragile and _weak._ But this was Chase, not Lucas, or any other boy for that matter. This was Chase, this was different.

"You loved Lucas... didn't you?" Brooke was still staring at Chase and Lucas. Chase and Lucas. Lucas and Chase. Two people that had managed to hurt her more than anyone else in the world. Two people she loved. One person she'd always love. Chase.

"Yeah. And I still do." Brook watched as Peyton flinched, "but Peyton, this just isn't the same. I loved Lucas, I _love_ Lucas, I always will. There is no one that can change that anymore. But, I love Lucas in a way that will never let me stop caring about him. But not in a way that makes me want to be with him. Not in a way that makes it hurt just to look at him. Chase?" Brooke choked. She felt her whole body getting weaker and weaker as small parts of her fell to the ground with each tear, "Chase is everything. I love him in a way that breaks my heart. I love him in a way that makes me not able to spend a second away from him. It's like, I'm stupid. I'm acting stupid! I'm jealous of that weird red-haired-freckle-faced-girl who's locker is next to his because for at least a minute _every day_ she gets to stand next to him. And I can't."

Peyton was awestruck. She wasn't even sure if sometimes she loved Lucas that much. But it was written all over Brooke's entire body that she loved Chase with every fibre of her being. "Brooke... talk to him! If you love him that much don't just let him leave you behind wit no reasonable explanation."

"What am I supposed to do?" Brooke sobbed. She didn't realize she was speaking so loudly. But everyone on the quad turned to stare at her, including Chase and Lucas on the steps. But finally, she didn't care. If this was how Chase would see how heartbroken she was, than fine. "It hurts to _look_ at him! Can you imagine _talking_ to him?" Brooke let out a deep sigh again and stared around the quad.

"Brooke..." She heard his voice fill her ears. She _finally_ heard it. But her eyes were blurred and her pride had been stomped to the ground, "Brooke!" He was running towards her, and she ached all over.

She stared at Peyton, "This. _This,_ is the part where I walk away and act like I don't need him, the part where I hold my head high." And she turned on her heels and walked away in a rush. Chase stopped where he was and placed his hands on his head in frustration. He watched as she walked away. Her head was held high but she was trembling. He did that to her. He told Lucas that he was like him. But he watched as she walked away heartbroken, in the same mess that he had found her in when Lucas did it. She broke up with Lucas, but Lucas hurt her. He broke up with her, and she looked like she'd barely survive without him.

"I'm sorry..." He whispered to the air.

"Who's Brooke?" A familiar voice came behind him. She heard her footsteps, heavy on the ground as approached him. He turned and stared at her. She was beautiful, as always. Her brown hair fell across her shoulders and almost hypnotized him. His heart raced like she always made it do. She was just like Brooke. She had the same dimples and the same incredible body. But her smirk was too mysterious, while Brooke was honest and sweet. He knew exactly what Brooke had gone through with having lingering feelings for Lucas. Because this girl, this was Amanda. And Amanda was the girl who managed to make him have the same lingering feelings. Amanda was the reason that Chase had to leave Brooke behind. Amanda was the girl who had once managed to make Chase feel the same way that Brooke was feeling right now. And Amanda? She was the girl who Brooke had almost wiped from Chase's memory. Until she moved to Tree Hill that was.

* * *

Brooke got to the parking lot and stopped. What was she doing? Walking away? She had stood in that same place for so long, wanting him back, and when he came after her she left? The least she could have done was stuck around, got some answers. Or put in her last word. That she loved him. She _needed_ him to know that. She dangled her keys in her hands and debated turning around. Her feet itched the ground and she drew in a deep breath and turned around to go back. She was slow this time, nervous. She wasn't sure what she'd say to him, or how she'd say it. But all she knew was her feet were slowly but surely carrying her back to him, like she knew that always would.

She stood at the edge of the quad and closed her eyes. To try and relax. Opening them, she watched as crowds partnered. Chase's head became visible. Then his arms. His hands. His hands? They were extended outwards and being held loosely by a small, beautiful girl with a mischievous grin. Brooke was sure that she had just practically dissolved into the air. The girl stood on her tippy-toes and kissed Chase's neck. He flinched, but didn't pull away. Brooke stepped closer, close enough for Chase to notice her. He dropped Amanda's hand and stared at Brooke sadly.

"This is the real reason huh?" Brooke snapped.

"It's not like that. I didn't leave you for her." He tried to justify. Brooke's mouth fell open and Chase reached for her. She was crying again, she could feel her cold tears sting into her cheeks. Chase had always had the ability to make her happier than she believed she could be. But she was realizing now that he could make her equally as heartbroken. She looked down to where her hand was dangling and Chase's hand was holding it tight. It tingled and hurt, as if it were burned. She drew it away from him quickly and stared around in disbelief.

"I can't believe this. I came back!" She yelled at him, "You said that it was because we didn't have our feelings sorted out. But you wanted someone else! Dammit!" She clenched her fingers in her hair and squealed quietly through her sobs. "I came back!" She repeated, "I though that if I told you how I felt it'd be okay again." She knew she sounded like a little girl but she was half-way there and she was never the type of girl to back down, "I loved you and you didn't even want me all along?"

Chase shook his head and reached for her, trying to get his words in through her loud sobbing. The crowd that had gathered up was shocked. Brooke Davis had never clung to a guy, she had never let the world know that even if he didn't need her, she needed him. She never let anyone see that she was capable of being hurt just like all of them.

"Brooke! No!" He grabbed her arms and tried to pull her into him. "This is Amanda. She's my ex. Yes! She's the reason I broke up with you. But it was the same situation as you and Lucas. I didn't want to get too involved with you until I put her behind me!" He tried to explain.

"You're not putting her behind you though are you?" Brooke retorted. Then she got quiet and stared at him, "You didn't want to get too involved with me?" She murmured. Amanda was standing behind them with a huge smirk on her face. "I _love_ you. It's a little late to say that you don't want to get too involved isn't it? You're as involved as it gets!"

He couldn't help but smile a little, he felt like asking her to repeat her words. She loved him, she finally said it... "Brooke..." He breathed, a wave of happiness washing through him, "I Lo-"

"Don't!" Brooke yelled. She put her hand up to him to shut him up. "Don't say it! I don't want to hear it anymore!... It's too late." She said quietly. Then once more she walked away from him, leaving him drowning in a puddle of guilt. This time though, she had no intentions of coming back.

Lucas stepped in next to Chase and gave him a glare, "I thought you said you weren't me?" And he too walked away from Chase. Peyton stood behind them all though, and watched as Lucas went after Brooke. She was standing there heartbroken and he went after the reason they broke up in the first place. Brooke didn't realize how good she had it. At least Chase tried. Lucas didn't even see Peyton anymore, it was like she didn't exist to him.

* * *

There you go! Review, Pretty Please? lol... I really hope you liked it... :)

Michelley P.


	8. She Has No Time

Hey Guys! Here's the next chapter. It's short, and i apologize. It's sort of a filler, but i hope you like it all the same. just one note though: In this story, that sex tape between Brooke and Nathan didn't happen. So Brooke NEVER cheated with her best friend's boyfriend... kk?

By the way, this is a song fic... so yeah . . .

Michelley P.

Chapter Eight: She Has No Time

_You think your days are uneventful  
And no one ever thinks about you  
She goes her own way  
She goes her own way  
You think your days are ordinary  
And no one ever thinks about you  
But we're all the same  
And she can hardly breathe without you _

"Brooke!" Chase called after her as she fumbled with the keys in her car door. She couldn't seem to find the right one to fit. She could barely see the lock anyways, because her eyes were so blurred with tears. At the sound of his voice, she stopped. God, she loved his voice. She stood up stubbornly and stared ahead, her lips pressed together tight to stop them from quivering. She harshly wiped a tear from her cheek and wish she could just drive away from him. But there was no will in her to even try the lock again.

"Brooke..." Chase said again, quieter. He got to her side and stared in at her face, and at the tears falling off of her chin. Instinctively, he reached out and touched her face, his hand becoming the new place where her tears landed. She leaned into his hand, loving how it felt to have him touch her. "I'm sorry Brooke... Brooke... look at me." He begged her. She hesitated, but finally turned to look him in the eye. She was so angry at him for lying to her. He had made her feel so unsure of her feelings for him and her feelings for Lucas, when all along he was the one who was unsure. And truthfully, she never doubted for a second that she loved Chase.

Right then, just looking at him, made her forgive him for just a second. He was looking at her the way he always did. He looked like he needed her, he _wanted_ her. And she wanted him too, she _needed_ him.

"You can't be mad at me." Chase tried to reason with her. Her forgiveness for him faded and she pulled her face out of his touch.

"How can you say that?" She said quietly. This hurt her more than anything, that in the end she seemed like the one who had done wrong, and she believed that she had. She knew she wasn't being herself, Brooke Davis never let anyone bring her down. But her she was, feeling less about herself because the boy she loved made her look bad. She tried to snap out of it, but she couldn't, maybe this _was_ who she was.

"Brooke..." Chase realized he sounded like a jerk, and he really wasn't trying to be. "I'm sorry. I just mean that...you still love Lucas..." He noticed Brooke shake her head. "Brooke... yes you do."

"No! I mean, I was confused and everything. But then you said we were over and I saw Lucas and I just... I knew that I didn't. I don't love Lucas." She took a deep breath as she spoke. And for one of the first times ever, she believed the words that were coming out of her mouth. She knew she didn't love Lucas. There were still slight feelings there, but she didn't love him.

"Okay.. So you don't love Lucas." Chase felt like crap, maybe he was to blame for all of this. "But you guys haven't really had your closure, have you?" Brooke didn't object, but her lips quivered again as she looked Chase in the eye. She wanted to be with him so bad. She just wanted to stop being mad at him. She felt her heart pound in her chest as that light flickered in his eyes. She was actually worried that the light had gone out. That she was just a substitute for Amanda. But the light was still there. Standing here with Chase, feeling the way she did, reminded her of the first day she met him. How she had secretly been mourning over Lucas, how she was starving for Lucas, how she didn't think she'd ever stop being so lonely. But then she met Chase. All of the pain from her break up just seemed to dissolve. There was no Lucas for her anymore. There was only Chase, and that's all there's ever been since.

_Think about the lonely people  
Then think about the day she found you  
Or lie to yourself  
And see it all dissolve around you _

"No.. I guess not." Brooke finally said, breaking eye contact with him. She didn't want to feel that way anymore. She didn't want someone to have so much power over her and then not want it. But truthfully, she usually didn't want _anyone_ to have that power over her. She had tried before to let Lucas have that power, but he misused it. She was afraid to let Chase have it now, afraid the same would happen.

"Well! It's the same thing with Amanda and me. We never got our closure. I'm not going to be with her Brooke... I just need to sort some things out before you and I get too..."

"Involved... I know.. I heard you." Brooke mumbled coldly. Chase reached out and took her hand, and kissed it. She was trembling, and it almost killed him to think that it was his fault.

"Brooke... I'm not trying to hurt you. You know that. But you know what I went through before! I don't want to have other feelings lingering around out there. I don't want to go through that again." Chase admitted.

"That's why you're urging me to get closure with Lucas?" Brooke gasped, "You're afraid that I'll cheat on your if I don't? Chase! I went through that too! I'd never do that to _anyone_." She ripped her hand from his grasp and just stared at him.

"I know! Brooke, it's not only you! I need closure with Amanda too." He reached for her again, but she stepped back.

"So you're afraid you'll do it to me, the way Luke did?" She raised one eyebrow at him, really trying to figure out what his intentions were.

"No!" He objected, "Brooke, I just want to be with you! But I don't want to have anyone else in the way! Brooke, you know how I feel about you." He reached for her again, but once more she stepped backwards. "Stop walking away from me!" He tried, so hard.

"Don't touch me!" She screamed. They were lucky this time. The parking lot was completely empty, and her voice echoed around the empty cars. "You know what? No! I don't know how you feel. I'm sorry but I told you that I loved you and you still haven't said it yet. That's one of the biggest problems here, _you haven't even said it!"_ She threw her arms in the air and then covered her face with her hands.

"Oh Brooke, you know I do..." he smiled and stepped towards her again, and this time she didn't move. She waited for the words, she just needed those words to be said.

"You do what?" She tested him, stepping closer to him as well. He felt a little relieved, she wasn't pushing him away. He reached out and finally found the opportunity to pull her close. She kept looking up at him, trying to ignore the way her body felt when he had his arms wrapped around her so tightly. "Chase... say it."

"Brooke... it's not really that easy." Chase objected. She sighed in defeat. She kissed him on the cheek gently and then whispered to him.

"It's only love Chase. It's not that hard. It's _just_ love. And I don't have time to wait for you to figure out whether or not you can say it to me. Or whether or not you love me at all. I just don't have time to wait for it anymore." She stepped back and looked through her keys again. She stared at one, her eyes not blurred with tears anymore, just disappointment. When the key fit her lock, she wished she could think of another reason to stay here with Chase, but without the closure that deep down she knew they both needed, there were no more reasons.

She sat inside and started the engine, and then peered up at Chase who was almost crying himself, and seemed to be still searching for the words. Brooke couldn't help but wonder if he had this much trouble saying it to Amanda. Suddenly though, she felt calm, as if she had finally taken back full control of her emotions, like the real Brooke Davis would have.

"Maybe you can look for me when you've got your closure." She squinted up at him, then shut the door and drove away.

_Lonely people tumble downwards  
My heart opens up to you  
When she says _

She says she has no time  
For you now  
She says she has no time  
For you now  
She says she has no time

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kk, let me know what you think please? Like It? Love it? Hate it? just review:) :) (sounds like a cheesy ad.) lol...

Michelley P.


	9. Author's Note

Hey guys! I know I know, i haven't updated in FOREVER! and i have a very good excuse I swear! lol.im SWAMPED! lol. it's that time of the year again, exams wrapping up and finals starting. but i swear, once this is all tied up i will update, and if possible, before. anyways, just letting you know that I haven't given up on this story, so don't you give up on it okay? Great! lol

Michelley P.


	10. Brief Interaction

IM BACK:)

Kinda short... but just to get started off again... :) here ya go!

Chapter Nine: Brief Interaction

Brooke grabbed Calum from Haley arms and kissed his cheek. The baby just stared a Brooke with a small grin on his face. She kissed him again and hugged him tightly. Haley was sitting there with her arm extended with a bottle as if she were still feeding him. She looked tired, with heavy eyes and no make up. Brooke noticed that she seemed to be falling asleep right at the table. Nathan was sitting on the couch, putting on his work boots and coveralls, almost falling asleep himself. There were no jokes and no sappy married couple goodbyes as he walked out the door, just a grunt and a kiss on the baby's head and away he went.

Sitting on a chair next to Haley and fed the baby for her. "You haven't been at school in awhile." Brooke noted. Haley nodded and leaned back. She smiled at Calum feeding quietly.

"Nathan's working a lot, and so is Karen so she can't really help out. I mean she'd take him at the café with her but I really don't want to make her do that." She played with her thumbs in her lap and sighed.

"What happened?" Brooke asked, knowing that something was up.

"Hmm?" Haley asked, seeming like she has just fallen asleep there in the chair.

"With you and Nathan."

"That obvious huh?" Haley snickered a little. She leaned forward with her head in her hands. "We've been fighting a lot. Over everything." She looked at Brooke, searching for something that would tell her everything would be fine. But Brooke just avoided eye contact with her. She felt guilty, even as Haley spilled about her and Nathan, Brooke's mind was wondering to Chase. Where he was, who he was with, was it Amanda? She walked over and laid Calum in his carrier and stroked the small hair on his head. His hair was dark, reminding her of Nathan. And Chase. Everything reminded her of him.

"I thought you guys came to an agreement Brooke?" Haley cut in. Brooke turned to look at her, "You guys didn't have your feelings for other people straightened out, so you'd wait until you did. Right?" She walked over and then laid down on the couch.

"Yeah, but I still miss him." Her chin quivered. "Hales.. Go get some sleep, I don't have any important classes today so..."

"No way! Brooke!" Haley gasped, "You're not cutting class to sit for me!"

"Haley! I have PE and Art! ART!" Brooke laughed. "I wouldn't be there anyways... Chase and I always used to cut out and..." She stopped.

"Aww... Brooke.. If you really miss him, it's okay to talk to him!" Haley encouraged her.

"No... I can't, Amanda's always there..." She sighed.

"Seriously... ouch."

"I'm gonna take a walk with him okay? You just get some sleep..." Haley nodded and hugged her, than yawned and walked into the bedroom. "It's just you and me baby." Brooke whispered down at Calum. He just laughed and reached up for her.

* * *

"And that's the beach where your mommy and daddy got married. You would have loved to be able to see them. They were crazy for each other. Of course, they still are..." Brooke whispered to the little boy in the stroller, even though he was fast asleep. "I hope anyways..." She sighed.

"I'm sure they are." A voice whispered. Brooke stood still for a second. A lump formed in her throat as the excitement bubbled up. And she finally turned around to see his eyes beaming at her. She wanted to hug him and just be there with him, as close as possible. But they both just shifted around, afraid to touch each other, it would be too much too soon.

"Chase..." Brooke said in a pleading voice. She was standing so close to him, but not nearly close enough, and it hurt to not be able to reach out and touch him. "What are you doing here?"

He walked closer with his hands in his pockets, "Amanda and I were just up at the café and..."

Brooke's heart sank, "Amanda... I see..." She turned around and bent down to pull the blankets more tightly over Calum. He laughed and reached up at her face. She tried to keep paying attention to the baby, afraid that if she paid any more attention to Chase her heart would completely break.

"Brooke..." Chase sighed. He bent down next to her as her chin quivered, "It isn't like that."

"Then what is it like?" She snapped, she didn't mean to. This was supposed to be mutual, both of them agreeing to take time apart in order to sort out their feelings for other people. But right now Brooke only had feelings for one person, and he was breaking her heart.

"We're trying to sort things out, you know like you and I had talked about, get closure." He ran his fingers through her hair and it made her whole body weaken.

"You seem to be doing so great, ya know?" Brooke whispered. Calum's eyes got heavy and he gradually let them close.

"What do you mean?" Chase almost seemed offended but Brooke really didn't think he had a right to.

"What I mean is, I'm miserable without you. And you're up there having coffee with your ex." She pointed up towards the café, where Amanda was coming out the door and heading towards them.

"I miss you too Brooke..."

"You don't see me having any interactions with Luke at all." She fought back the tears but they were getting stronger and violent in her eyes.

"Exactly!" Chase threw his arms in the air. "Go with him! Figure out what it is that you want! And if it's me, I'll be here."

"First of all, I don't want Lucas. I know that already. But if I have to go and be with him to make you see how miserable I'll be, fine. And second of all, you may be there afterwards, but I won't be coming around if she's going to be next to you." Brooke gestured towards Amanda.

"You said you were only going to be gone for a second..." Amanda smiled at him. Brooke watched as she reached out and entwined her fingers with Chase's. She seemed nice. Really sweet and innocent, everything that Brooke knew she wasn't. Chase moved and let go of her hand, stepping towards Brooke who was just staring at their hands together. The tears finally broke free and fell off of her chin.

Chase seemed to want to explain, as he reached out for Brooke, but Brooke turned and pushed the stroller quickly, away from him.

* * *

"Where are you going in such a hurry?" Lucas's voice called at her. Brooke stopped and looked at Lucas, running towards her from across the street. He stopped next to her and smiled, but then bit his lip as he saw the tears on her face. She looked back at Chase, watching them, and smiled at Lucas.

"Want to get some lunch?" She offered. Lucas's face lit up and he nodded, pushing the stroller for her. Once more, she glanced back at Chase who looked confused. This was what he wanted, her to get together with Lucas and see what happened, so she didn't understand why he seemed so hurt.

* * *

Review! As Always,

Michelley P.


	11. The Past Fights Back

Hello! Here I am again, with another update, and begging those Brase fans to not get mad... lol...

song: Michelle Featherstone- Stay

* * *

Chapter Ten: The Past Fights Back

Brooke woke up in a tangled mess. She glanced at the sheets wrapped around her bare body and shuddered. How had she ended up here? With him? Everything had been such a blur, the whole room still spun around her as he slept quietly, soft snores escaping his mouth. Then she remembered, it all started while having lunch, right after bringing Calum back home. . .

_"So..." Lucas sighed. He leaned back in his chair and stared at Brooke, "Is this just a pity date? Or a way to get back at Chase?"_

_Both. Brooke thought. She may not have really wanted to be there with him, but no matter how many stupid things Lucas did, Brooke knew he was still a good guy, and he didn't deserve to be used. _

_"I've noticed things have been weird for you lately, I just wanted to check in, you know especially since you and Peyton broke up." She lied. She hoped he'd buy it, and he wouldn't see that she was just using him, to win Chase back. But he just gave her his lopsided grin and nodded._

_"Yeah, it's has been weird... thanks though." He looked sincere, which made Brooke feel even more guilty, not only for being such a player, but for ever letting them get so disconnected in the first place. She had always blamed him for everything that went wrong in her life, but she could see from the lost stare of his eyes, that he needed someone just as much as she needed Chase._

_"So what happened? Why'd you and Peyt break up?" She tried to start an honest conversation. Lucas seemed to look away from her, as if he didn't want to make eye contact._

_"I'd rather not talk about that right now." He simply whispered, "But maybe you do. What about you and Chase? That little interaction I saw back there seemed less than friendly."_

_Broke laughed a little and nodded, "Yeah, we're broke up too. He says we need "closure" from our past relationships."_

_"Do you?" Lucas raised an eyebrow at her, and there seemed to be a small spark in his eye._

_"What? Need closure?" Lucas nodded. She thought about it. She had always said she did. But here she was, sitting with Lucas, her palms sweating. Not because she was desperate to be with him, or even because she loved him. But mostly because she was nervous around him, and it scared her how all of her memories of being with him always seemed to flood back to her whenever he was near. "Maybe..." She whispered._

_Lucas bit his lip and then looked around, "Wanna go get a drink?" He suggested. _

_No. She felt like saying. "Yes." _

And here she was, too many memories later, she was laying next to him in bed. His bare back was facing her and she could barely catch her breath. She didn't want to ever admit that Chase had been right, that she still had feelings for Lucas, but there must have been something small there right? If she was willing to sleep with him. Though, most of the feelings she had while seducing him had a lot to do with the one too many liquor shots, which led to them taking their alcohol to Lucas's empty house and using it for other "Activities".

But memories or no memories, Brooke missed Chase, she was supposed to be here with Chase, not curled up naked next to an old flame. She swung her bare legs over the side of the bed and grabbed her pants. Dressing quicker than she ever had after sex, she dashed out the door and let the cold air hit her hard.

The funny thing was, no matter how drunk she was, she could remember every moment of being with Lucas. She had been on a natural high, unlike anything she had ever felt before. It was sad to think that that was one thing Chase wouldn't do for her.

But that didn't matter, she thought as she walked down the empty street with her arms wrapped around her body, she didn't _need _the sex or anything else. Chase, he gave her a natural high too, just from holding her hand, or smiling at her.

"I saw you guys." A voice whispered from behind. Brooke turned to see Peyton leaning against her car by the rover court.

"Huh?" Brooke swallowed a lump in her throat, praying that Peyton didn't mean what Brooke thought she meant.

"You and Lucas." Peyton's voice cracked. "I went to his house, to talk to him, but he was way too busy to talk wasn't he?"

"Peyton..." Brooke started. She walked towards her, and under the street light Brooke could see that Peyton's cheeks were stained with tears.

"Don't. Brooke, just don't." Her chin quivered, "What will Chase think?" She snapped, then got into her car and sped down the road, screeching her tires.

Chase. Once more he crossed her mind. Her plan for tonight was to go with Lucas, get the whole "closure" stuff over with, and prove that she had no feelings for Lucas. That got her no where but in Lucas's bed, proving absolutely **nothing.** She squinted up at the street light and sighed. All she wanted was something to show her where to go next. Something that would make her feel better and help her sort things out, even just a sign, telling her who she was suppose to step forward with.

"Was it that bad?" Lucas's voice sounded as if on cue. Brooke froze and then relished in the memories from earlier that night. She turned and looked at him. Lucas Scott The boy she loved since she could barely remember. The first boy to have her heart, and the first to throw it away. Was it that bad? No. She admitted to herself, it wasn't bad at all, it was amazing, it was as if something had begun to fill the hollow space Chase had left inside of her, it wasn't completely filled, and got emptier by the second, but she loved that she could pretend it was better when she was with Lucas.

"No. It wasn't bad at all." She whispered. She sat on a picnic table and Lucas joined her.

"I know, Brooke. What's going through your mind, that is." He said in a small voice. She turned and looked at him, waiting for him to explain. "You love Chase, I know that, I can see it. But he left yo u, and since when did Brooke Davis sit back and let the fun go on without her."

"If you knew I loved Chase, than why'd you go through with it?" She asked, not sure if she was insulted or impressed.

"Because I was drunk." He said flatly, then he chuckled, "I love Peyton you know. I really do. But, I understand where Chase is coming from, and I couldn't go on loving her when I knew how I still felt about you."

"Oh..." Brooke just stared at him, wondering what she was supposed to say now, and thinking how ironic it is that Lucas had been going through the same thing as her, and they had ended up in each other's arms. "What now?"

"Now? We just go with it. The way I see it, if you and I are supposed to stick together, we will, and if not, we'll be back with them." He nodded and glanced at the orange street light the same way that Brooke had earlier, maybe searching for something too.

"Peyton knows. She was just here..."

"Oh, I thought I knew the sound of those tires screeching." He chuckled, then ran his fingers through his hair, "She's pissed."

"She's telling Chase." Brooke's voice crackled.

"So."

"So? He'll never speak to me again!" She cried.

"He told you to go get closure, and I really don't think you're _that_ upset." Lucas said shyly.

"I'm not _that_ upset? Yes! I am, I could lose him forever, and for what? Nothing!" Brooke felt insulted, she hated having someone tell her how she felt before she was even sure how she felt herself.

"Nah, it was for something..." He turned and looked at her, staring her straight in the eye. "Tell me you don't have feelings for me Brooke, because I'd hate to think that earlier the only true feelings came from me."

She didn't speak at first, but Lucas reached out and touched her hands, twirling his fingers through her's and memories of when they were together and she was happy, broke through her conscience . Did she love Chase? Yes. But did she still have feelings for Lucas? Yes.

"You can't say it? Can you?" Lucas smiled, as if he had won a victory.

"No. I do still have feelings for you..." Lucas leaned in with a smirk on his face, and his lips got closer to her, she could feel her losing Chase faster and faster, "But..." She whispered as his face got closer, "I _love_ Chase." She ended, before his mouth crashed into her's and his fingers ran through her hair. She breathed in his scent, remembered the feel of his hair through her fingers, each one memorized so well by her, and she wondered how one person could be so confused. She was here, kissing Lucas, and wondering what Chase would think of her.

Lucas continued kissing her, knowing he must have been the biggest jerk on earth. He could feel her trembling, but held her anyway. He could taste her tears on her lips, but kissed her anyway. He knew she loved Chase, but he loved her anyway.

If I built a wall  
A hundred feet tall  
Would that keep you in?

If I shackled your feet  
So you couldn't leave  
Would you try and run?

If I promise not to fight  
At least not tonight  
Would you stay the night?

If I wore that little dress  
You like the best  
Would you pass my tears?

Would you stay?  
Would you stay with me?

If I poured another drink  
What would you think  
About staying in?

If I was sincere  
And whispered my fears  
Would you still be here?

Would you stay?  
Would you stay with me?  
Would you stay?  
Would you stay with me?

If I built a wall  
A hundred feet tall  
Would that keep you in?

* * *

Thoughts? Comments? ANything? lol

Michelley P.

ps. Please keep the faith :P


	12. Nine Crimes

* * *

Hey!! Im here with another update, I really hope you like it:)

Chapter Eleven: Nine Crimes

"Nathan! I swear to God if you walk out now..." Haley's voice was shaky and unsettling, as Brooke watched from the window at their door. Nathan was standing near the door with Calum on his hip, getting ready to put him back into his playpen, and Haley was near the hall with one hand on her hip and the other holding her forehead. Tears were falling off of her chin and she seemed to be shaking. Nathan, he seemed just as upset as he gripped his hands onto his face with stress.

Brooke walked down their front stairs and stood around the edge of the house. She could still hear them yelling inside, she could hear Haley's threats, that if Nathan left she'd... and then her voice trailed off into whimpers.

"You'll what, Haley? Do you expect me to not go to work?" Nathan yelled back. Brooke hugged herself tightly, she was getting used to their fighting lately, but nothing like this. Soon Calum was screaming and the front door slammed, followed by Nathan's heavy footsteps and his car screeching out of the driveway.

Brooke opened the apartment door and looked in at Haley. She was sitting on the couch with Calum in her arms. All Brooke could do was watch her, at how different she seemed. She looked more tired than ever before, and most of all, she just looked broken.

"I just expected you to care..." Haley whispered to herself, oblivious to the fact that Brooke was peeping in at her. She turned around and walked into the bedroom, shutting the door behind her. Brooke stood in the doorway and stared around the apartment. Who did she think she was? The only person in the world with problems? She realized then, that she really didn't need to dump her problems on Haley, she had her own, which we re much more severe. So slowly, she shut the door and walked back into the struggling day. Here she was, just like she had been so many times before, all alone.

_

* * *

_

Brooke just laid there, as Lucas ran his fingers up her thighs, and closed her eyes tightly. All she could do was ask herself what she was doing. She didn't want to be with Lucas, and he was a jerk to allow her to be so miserable, to enable his own happiness. But she was aware that she didn't want him, so why was she with him? She thought back to how Amanda had locked fingers with Chase, right in front of her. She remembered how neatly their hands seemed to fit together. Not quite perfectly, but just enough to _seem _perfect to the naked eye. To anyone else, Chase and his new love looked perfect together, so maybe Brooke _should_ give Lucas another try, maybe they would be perfect. And if not, at least she could be with him as a way to get Chase out of her mind, even if only for a little while.

She opened her eyes to see Lucas unbuttoning her shirt, his own laying across the foot of the bed, and she tried to indulge herself in him. His warm hands made their way to her shoulders, pulling her shirt off, and she let herself fall deep into her own thoughts of being with Chase. They were just mere memories, ones she wished she could pursue more of, but right now they were all she had to let herself fall completely in love with the feeling of being with someone. She imagined that it was Chase's hands unhooking her bra strap, his lips that crashed onto her's hungrily. A little more forcefully, of course, than Chase would of, but she let herself believe it anyways.

And then it came, the wave of pleasure she would get whenever she was just in the same room as Chase. Lucas noticed her finally getting back into the mood, and grinned, thinking that he finally was able to please Brooke Davis the way that he used to be able to, when she loved him. He knew what he was doing was wrong, being with a woman who's heart was breaking for another man, but here he was anyways, praying he'd be able to get her to remember the reasons she used to love him, and devote herself to him and only him, once more.

"Chase..." Broke breathed, her eyes shut tightly, as she gripped the sheet on Lucas's bed tightly. Lucas stalled for awhile, wondering if it'd be right to continue. It was obvious, that no matter what he did to her, or how he did it, Brooke still belonged to Chase, body and soul. But Lucas loved the taste of Brooke on his lips. He loved how warm her body always was, but how she still managed to give him goose bumps. He wanted Brooke Davis, and he'd have her, even if she'd never _really_ be his. So Lucas continued soothing her, he continued kissing her and touching her, though he knew she wished he was someone else. Was that wrong?

_

* * *

__** cheating**__ on you  
It's the wrong time  
but she's pulling me through  
It's a small crime  
And I've got no excuse_

Chase sat at the diner with his gaze overlooking the beach just outside. On the street separating him from it, he saw the place where he had run into Brooke. She looked beautiful, it was the first thing he noticed, how beautiful she looked with the tears in her eyes when Amanda held his hand. He sighed. Brooke should've known he didn't want Amanda, or anyone else for that matter. How things had gotten this bad, Chase wasn't sure. He didn't mean to push her away, but he just wanted everything to be perfect between him and Brooke. He didn't want any hidden flames getting in the way of them being together. He thought of what Brooke had said to him that day in the parking lot at school, she couldn't wait until he decided if he could _say_ that he loved her, or whether he loved her at all.

He sighed, of course he loved her. He loved her, and he needed her, and most of all, he simply wanted her. But it was too late, he had pushed her so far that he pushed her right out the door, and right into Lucas. He knew he had no right to be angry, he asked her to be with Lucas, but he never really wanted her to.

"Decaf, right?" Amanda chirped as she scooted in next to him, Chase moved over, annoyed. She couldn't simply sit on the other side of the table, but insisted on sitting right next to him.

"Um, yeah. Thanks." Chase whispered.

"What are you thinking about, Chase?" She seemed almost completely sincere, Chase thought as he made eye contact with her. She seemed like she generally wanted to know what he was thinking, but then her hand started sliding up his leg and he just rolled his eyes in disgust.

"Brooke, I'm thinking about Brooke." He admitted. This didn't stop her, her hand slid all the way up, and Chase shifted uncomfortably.

"Why? You don't need her." She leaned into him and stared him right in the eye. "Why wasn't I ever good enough, I love you Chase." She sighed. She backed away a little... maybe she really did love him.

"Nah, of you loved me you wouldn't have slept with my best friend." Chase said sarcastically.

"If Brooke loved you, she wouldn't be sleeping with her ex." Amanda raised one eyebrow at him. He thought of this, maybe Amanda was right.

"Who says their sleeping together?" Chase blurted, willing himself to believe it more than Amanda.

Amanda didn't respond, but lifted her hand to touch his face. He closed his eyes and remembered how Brooke used to touch him like that, and pictured her in the booth with him right now. He tried to remember a time when ti was Brooke's hand that grazed his leg, her face that was getting so close to him, and her breath that was mingling with his own. He told himself it was true, that when he opened his eyes that beautiful brunette would be the one sitting next to him, that everything would be perfect and they'd always be together from here on out. But he knew, that if he opened his eyes, the feeling that she was with him would fade, and he'd have to deal with the fact that she was gone. So he just kept his eyes closed, and as Amanda kissed him, he kissed her back, long and hard, with not too much force, the way Brooke liked it. And he kept kissing her, telling himself he was with Brooke, and praying that this would last, but knowing soon he'd need the real thing. Because, simply, Amanda's kiss didn't taste half as good as Brooke's, and didn't satisfy him half as much.

_Is that alright?  
Give my gun away when it's loaded  
Is that alright?  
If you don't shoot it how am I supposed to hold it  
Is that alright?  
Give my gun away when it's loaded  
Is that alright  
Is that alright with you?_

* * *

Did you like it? HOPE SO! REVIEW OKAY:D

Michelley P.


	13. Settlin'

Hey Guys, Im here with another update, this one may or may not be a little confusing, but here it is anyways... : )

Enjoy!

Michelley P

* * *

Chapter Twelve: Settlin'

It's like one of those movies, Brooke thought, as she felt her back burning against the hot sand. One of those movies where everything's perfect. Not her life though, no, just this moment, this scenery, on the beach with Haley laying next to her, seemingly asleep, and the sun pouring down. Brooke sighed and leaned back onto her towel, yes, this was a perfect moment.

"Haley?" Brooke looked at Haley through her sunglasses, waiting for a reply. "Hales..." She said a little bit louder.

"Mmm," was all Haley said, but that was enough for Brooke.

"Is everything okay?" Brooke whispered to her friend.

"No. I'm tired, and I finally get a little break from being a teen mom, and you wake me up!" Haley groaned, and the turned over to her stomach.

"Haley. James. Scott." Brooke warned, Haley seemed to flinch at her own last name. Scott, as if she had forgotten it was that, and had just been rudely reminded. "Talk to me, I've heard you and Nathan, a lot in the past couple weeks."

Haley turned her head to face Brooke, and nodded, her chin quivering a little. " I don't know what were thinking, getting married and starting a family so young." Haley whispered.

"What you were thinking?" Brooke repeated, "Probably that you love each other, and always will, and that you're perfect together."

"Perfect." Haley scoffed, "of course, that's what arguing 24/7 is called now."

"Haley... you guys are going through a lot of stress with this new baby, it's understandable. Come on, talk to me." Brooke encouraged her.

Haley sat up and stared at Brooke, as if she were ready to spill it all, every single emotion and feeling in her body. "I don't know. I think that, I thought having a baby would bring us closer together, I mean we knew we were a bit young, but we've been through so much, a baby almost made our teen marriage more... real. But, we argue about the littlest things, like who's gonna get up when the baby cries on certain nights, who'll feed him, who's avoiding who, who hates who more."

"Haley! You guys don't avoid each other, and you certainly don't hate each other." Brooke gasped. Nathan and Haley had always been the model couple for everyone, the kind of love everyone else wanted. But maybe that was the problem, they were too tired of being the perfect couple.

"No, I know." Haley whispered, closing her eyes as she laid back onto her stomach, "It just feels like it sometimes."

"Yeah..." She wasn't sure what to say to her, how to make it right for her, though she really wanted to.

"You think we settled?" Haley whispered again. Brooke looked over at her, wondering what kind of question that was.

"What do you mean?"

"That's what Nathan said the other day, that maybe we just settled." Brooke heard Haley sniff, and watched as she wiped a tear from her eye.

"Why would he say that? Settled for what?"

"Each other." Haley began to cry. She sat up again and looked at Brooke.

"Why would he say that? Haley!" Brooke was shocked, she knew things were bad, but she never knew it was that bad, that they were thinking that they could have had a better relationship with someone else, and that they'd just settled for each other.

"I don't know." She groaned, we were arguing, and it just came out... _Yeah well, maybe our problem is just that we didn't look for more, we just settled for each other, thinking that was it, end of the line._" Haley said in her best male voice.

"How was being with each other settling? Haley! Are you having second thoughts about this marriage? Because no offense, but you have a baby now, you can't just say, hmm, I don't want to be married anymore, there's more to think-"

"Brooke! No!" Haley moved towards Brooke and stared at her with big sad eyes. "_I_ don't think we settled. The only thing I ever wanted was to be with him, and it's still the same for me. _He_ doesn't want me anymore!" She sobbed into Brooke's shoulder.

"Yes he does! Why do you think he doesn't?" Brooke felt like she was being to optimistic, but Haley deserved to be loved by Nathan, and though a small part of her was afraid that Haley was right, Nathan was just a teenager who wanted out, a huge part of her remembered the way he used to look at her, and knew he loved her.

"Because he doesn't even touch me anymore! What was I thinking? We've been married for over a year, and how can I only now realize that I can't tie him down, we're just kids, and maybe he's just not ready for all of these commitments." Haley cried loudly. A few people down along the beach were looking at them, but neither of them cared.

_Maybe he should have thought of that before he married you... and got you pregnant,_ Brooke thought to herself. There was so much she wanted to say to Haley, but so much more she couldn't promise her, like that she was wrong. Maybe Nathan wasn't ready. Instead, Brooke just hugged Haley, and wondered if that was Chase's problem...

* * *

It was late by the time Brooke left from Haley's. Nathan was working night shift at the factory, and Brooke stayed with Haley, helping with Calum until both Haley and the baby fell asleep. With heavy eyes and a heavy heart, Brooke made her way down the deserted street wondering why both her and Haley had thought it'd be a good idea to walk to the beach today, instead of taking Brooke's car. Because, of course, that left her without her car right now, at 1:32am, a long way from home- well, not that long, it's only Tree Hill.

She walked along the road, scuffing her feet as she did. She had school in the morning, and should probably hurry home to get some sleep. But her mind was racing, and whether she tried to or not, she knew she wouldn't be getting to sleep anytime soon. She looked around and wondered, what will this place be like when everyone _does_ finally settle, when everyone is with who they're meant to be with. Will Nathan and Haley be together? Peyton and Lucas? Her and Chase? Or will this all take some weird turn and shock them all, leaving them with different lovers and different lives.

Truthfully though, Brooke didn't care. All she knew right now, was that they always say you should do whatever makes you happy, and right now Brooke wasn't doing what made her happy.

She looked up, after starring at her feet for so long, and noticed a figure walking towards her. She recognized the way his shoulders seemed to slump in the light from the moon, and the streetlights. She recognized the way he kicked his feet and stuffed his hands in his pockets, and most of all, without even seeing his face, she could see the way he was looking at her, and she loved it, even though it killed her.

They got face to face, both of them knowing that the other would stop in their tracks at the sight of each other. She could hear him breathing, as if he had been thinking of her, just like she was thinking of him.

"Hey..." he finally breathed.

"What are you doing out here this late?" She whispered to him. There was no one around, and barely any houses close enough to hear them. But the moment was so fragile, so delicate, that they both whispered anyways.

"I was..." He pointed back, but couldn't find his words. She watched as his shoulders slumped, and he seemed so disgusted with himself, to disgusted to say the words aloud.

"At Amanda's." Brooke finished for him. He let out a long breath, and reached out for Brooke, finding himself surprised when she didn't pull away.

"This, thing." he started, "Finding closure or whatever. I think it's stupid. I just, I didn't think I had closure..." he ran his fingers up and down Brooke's arm, and even though she knew she wasn't planning on being official with him again for awhile, she stepped closer, "But, then when I was with Amanda tonight, I found myself comparing everything about her to you. She wasn't you and therefore, wasn't good enough."

"I get it Chase..." Brooke smiled at him. She took a deep breath of the crisp night air, and felt like everything just cleared right up for her, "I get it. I did the same, with Lucas. I want to be with you Chase, so badly, but..."

"I wasn't really expecting a but..." Chase whispered, drawing in a quick breath of air. It was ironic, they were talking about not being together, and they were getting closer by the second.

"This separation thing we've got going on, it's opened my eyes." Brooke whispered. She finally reached out and touched him, but then thought of Nathan and Haley. They were her age, and were once so in love too, and now they seem to be growing apart. She didn't want to be like that. She didn't want to 'settle' for the love that's in front of her now, but be exactly sure of what she was doing. "I've been so independent on others for so long. I can't remember the last time I was alone, I mean, emotionally-alone. For awhile I just want to be with myself."

"You know, I was kind of hoping you were going to say... that you wanted to be with me..." Chase chuckled to himself, but he agreed. "What if.. We just take a short break, please be very short, because I miss you Brooke. But a break? Seems appropriate. I mean, we don't get together, but not with other people either. Is that what you're thinking?"

"Uh huh..." Brooke watched as his face came closer to her's, and realized that the point of their conversation, and probably fate bringing them together right now, was to initiate the break. A_ short_ one, they both made clear, but a nice relaxing break. But right now, as he strengthened his grip around her waist and she pulled his face down closer, she realized this may end up being a shorter break than they imagined.

"Can we put the break on a.. break, for just now though?" He laughed, as he breathed her in.

"Only for now." She smiled back. She finally inhaled him, letting their mouths crash.

"Right, tomorrow, we're on a strict break." Chase said, then kissed her again.

"Very strict." She nodded into his lips.

"Tomorrow though." He whispered again, in between kisses.

"Tomorrow." She repeated as he kissed her neck.

"God, I've missed you." He whispered, then they both met for a long, final kiss, only for a little while though, they both made clear. Tomorrow would be hard, after tonight. Not being with each other. But it was agreed that both of their hearts needed a break, they deserved that much, and at least it would be civil. And who knows, sometimes they may need a break from their break, but for now, they were together, only temporarily, but together.

* * *

Alrighty, bad huh? Im still kinda BLAH about it... lol but iits an update nonetheless... Please Please Please review!

Please?

lol

Michelley P.


	14. Oh, I Just Can't Live A Lie

Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah... I Know... It's been months... I'm Sorry.. : ) 

Chapter Thirteen: Oh, I Can't Live A Lie.

_Lately nothing I do ever seems to please you  
And maybe turning my back would be that much easier  
Cause hurtful words are all that we exchange  
But I can't watch you walk away_

Haley rested her head in her hands, thankful that Deb had wanted to watch James tonight. All she could think through her tears, was how things had gotten like this. What had happened to the loving couple that skipped class to kiss in the hall, and had big plans for their future? What had happened to the man that stood in front of her in the rain, confessing everything to her. Now, here was that _same_ man, completely different. The only thing he was confessing, was that he was miserable.

"What do you want me to say, Hales?" Nathan yelled. His arms were stretched in front of him and his voice ran through Haley, sending shivers down her spine. There was a time when his voice gave her shivers for a different reason, not because she was terrified. "You're driving me crazy!" He yelled again.

Haley let out a loud sob, as she felt her heart break inside of her. "What do _you_ want _me_ to say Nathan? Why am I driving you crazy?"

"Because!" He screamed. She was almost positive that he hated her, she could see it in his eyes. Had that look been to for a longer time than she had realized? She prayed it hadn't, that everything hadn't been one huge lie. But that look flashed in his eyes again, and another ship of her heart fell to her feet. " You just... are." He sighed, he sat in the chair across from Haley, and avoided eye contact with her. There was a silence, a deathly one, that left so many questions unanswered.

Haley wiped more tears from her eye, and begged her chin to stop quivering. She had her hands clenched together in her lap, and looked over at Nathan. He looked like the same person as she used to know. He _still_ was the person she loved. But, there was something different, something missing. Something she just couldn't put her finger on. Suddenly, she missed James. She needed to hold her little boy, a reminder of how much her and Nathan loved each other, once, even if it wasn't evident now.

"What now?" Haley spoke softly, like her words were daring and tempting, suggesting some kind of movement on someone's part. A change that needed to happen.

"What now?" Nathan echoed her, a little confused.

"Well..." She breathed a deep breath out, and listened to her breath stumble. "We can't just, keep going on like this." Nathan stood up and walked over to the window... with one hand on the ledge and the other hanging loosely by his side, he let out a long sigh.

"Do you want me to leave?" He asked, with his back to her. Haley's breath caught in her throat. Did she? Could she keep living with Nathan, and the hate that he seemed to have for her? Could she keep up with the yelling, the fighting?

_Can I forget about the way it feels to touch you?  
And all about the good times that we've been through  
Could I wake up without you every day?  
Would I let you walk away?_

Maybe it would be easier to just give up, but did she want easier? No, all she wanted was proof that Nathan still loved her, but it wasn't there, the proof that had always been there, had disappeared. Haley stood up and began to walk over to him. There was such a distance between them, both physically and emotionally. As she got closer to him, she realized that this was the closest she had been to him in the three months since the baby had been born. _Wow,_ Haley thought, had it been three months?

At his side, she looked up at him. She could smell his cologne, and see the small frown on his lips. She reached down to the hand that was at his side, and let her finger tips dance across his palm. He looked down, as if he had just received a shock wave. She felt it too. It was the first time they had touched in months. Finally, her fingers made their way, loosely, around his. There was ab electric shock that circulated through her body, reminding her of the spark that used to exist between them. But as she looked around, at the bills on the table and the toys on the floor, she reminded herself, that sparks weren't enough. Sparks didn't pay the bills or feed the baby, and sparks certainly didn't control either of their tempers.

"I'm not sure what to say to you." She whispered, letting go of his hand. "Maybe we just need a break."

"A break." He repeated quietly. Haley nodded and stepped away from him. "A BREAK? YOU CAN'T JUST TAKE A BREAK, HALEY. It's not in the vows..." He yelled at her, kicking the chair next to him. Haley jumped, surprised, and then pointed towards the door, remembering his temper, and why she wanted this break.

"And this is?" She said to his back as he slammed the door behind him.

* * *

Brooke placed her keys in her purse, and looked at the school in front of her. There were crowds all around, sticking to their usual cliques like teenagers do. Brooke told herself that she was over highschool. She was ready to grow up now, start her own life and not have to deal with the drama that highschool presented.

In the car across from her, she saw Haley with her forehead on the steering wheel.

"Hales?" Brooke whispered and she pulled Haley's door open. Her eyes were red and puffy. "Another fight?" Brooke sighed. Haley nodded.

"He's moved out." Haley sobbed.

"Use the correct terms Haley." A voice snapped. They both looked back at Nathan who had just gotten out of his own car, "We're on a _break_ right?" He grabbed his backpack from the back seat and walked away, leaving Haley sobbing and Brooke speechless.

"Oh boy." Brooke whispered as she rubbed Haley's back.

* * *

Along the empty hall, the silence echoed through her ears. She had sent Chase a text message, to meet her here during class, and still she was standing here alone. She walked around, tracing the outline of the tiles on the floor, walking a groove in a perfect square around them. Her mind flashed with images of how broken Haley looked, and how defeated Nathan looked. Both of them were wounded, but the one person they both through would never ever hurt the. But that wasn't even why they were so miserable, they were so miserable because they were forcing themselves to be apart.

So if Brooke could see the misery in them, why couldn't she see it in herself? She stopped circling the tile and listened as footsteps brought themselves towards her. She saw his slow figure turn the corner, and hesitate a little, before smiling and walking closer.

"Hey..." he smiled, his smile was as sweet and goofy as ever, but there was something unsure about the way he looked at her.

"Hi." she whispered, she waited... for him to step into her, to kiss her, the way they secretly have. They weren't even sure why they were keeping everything a secret, but every time they touched, in secret, it was exhilarating, knowing that no one would know. But today he didn't try to kiss her, he stood in front of her with his hands in his pockets.

"What's wrong?" She asked knowingly.

"Nothing." He straightened his shoulders as if to try and suit his response, but Brooke's stomach lurched with the feeling that something was going on with him.

"Okay um well, I was thinking about some stuff and..." She stepped towards him and wrapped an arm around his shoulder. He smiled down at her and sighed, but didn't pull her any closer. "I know we said we wanted to wait until we were over our ex's, but... is that necessary. I mean, we love each other, aren't we just, wasting time?" She smiled at him, and he smiled back, but only slightly.

"Yeah, umm.." He stepped back and Brooke's arm fell to her side.

"What's going on?" she asked again.

"Nothing." He looked around, possibly for a distraction, "I just... nothing."

"Well, are you going to comment on what I said?" Brooke stepped away from him and crossed her arms, suddenly feeling very insecure.

"No." He finally looked her right in the eye, and his look was sad, "I just... I'm not really sure what I want right now. I mean, things weren't bad between us the last little while were they? It was fun."

"You mean..." Brooke scoffed, for the first time realizing that he could be just like every other guy. "You'd rather do the 'friends with benefits' thing?" She raised her eyebrows, "because that doesn't work for me."

"Well... I'm not saying that it'll be permanent, I just have a lot of things to sort out right now?" He tried defending himself. He scratched the back of his head, and let out a long deep sigh that made his whole body drop.

"Sort out? About _us?_" She stammered.

"Yeah, and Amanda, and just... what I really want." He acted as if this were normal, people just randomly decided to not be with someone anymore, even after fighting so hard for it.

"Amanda? What you want?" Brooke gasped, "Did you all of a sudden decide that you didn't want this?" She felt her chin quivering, but she refused to cry over him again.

"That's not what I'm saying Brooke." He reached out for her, but this time she pulled away. "Whether we like it or not, others are involved in this. I don't want to hurt anyone. So I just want to wait a little while longer, to think everything out, make sure everything will be okay."

"Whether we like it or not, _Chase_, someone is going to get hurt, no matter how we plan this. I just, really didn't want it to be me." She turned on her heel to head back to class, and he watched her stomp away.

"Brooke! That's not what I'm... Brooke!" He called after her, but she kept walking. Not what he wanted? Why was it that guys felt like they could just turn their feelings off like a faucet, and expect it to be okay? Expect it to be able to work in a way that no one gets hurt?

* * *

Stop worrying! LOL, I have a master plan:P review pretty please...

Michelley P.


	15. Enough

Yo.. here's another.. REVIEW PLEASE!

* * *

Chapter Fifteen: Enough

Is there actually a point in our lives where we can really decide that we've had enough? Seriously, is there one point where we've felt enough and seen enough that we can honestly judge it and say, "I've had enough."? Or will there always be more? Standing in the middle of her front porch, as Chase just drive away, his brake lights shimmering in the small amounts of mist that fogged the air and dripped lightly off her chin, Brooke wondered if she was ready to make a decision like this. Is there anyone who can _really_ judge if they've had enough? Can you _really_ say that you can't handle any more without even trying? What is it that tells us to give up?

Is it loving someone who tells you one thing, but displays another? Is it knowing that there is someone in your past that you never really gave a real chance to? Is it knowing that somewhere inside you, you'll never be able to completely give your heart away, because for once you really don't want it to get broken again? What is it exactly? And how did Brooke get here?

_

* * *

"Us?" Chase smiled at her. He wrapped his arm around her shoulder and walked with her to her car, carrying her books._

_Brooke smiled back, "You and me?" Chase continued, "Tonight, how about we go for a little drive?" he smirked._

_"A drive huh?" Brooke raised an eyebrow at him and took her books from his arms, throwing them into her backseat. "And what will this drive consist of? Driving? Or, lack thereof?" She saw him blush a little, in that cute shy way he had a tendency to._

_"I'm leaning more towards option b." He laughed._

_"Are you asking me to go parking with you?" Brooke blurted out boldly. A few passing students started laughing and Chase blushed even more. Then just shrugged._

_"It's the weekend, and I'm going to be working every other day , so... I really just wanted to spend some time with you." he said in a quiet, small voice._

_It was Brooke's turn to blush, as it crept up her neck. She could handle the cute flirtatious comments and smart remarks. But actually feelings, they really got to her. "I'd like that." She whispered. _

_"Great!" He leaned in and was about to kiss her, but then stopped himself, much to Brooke's disappointment. It was as if he had to remind himself that they weren't together, but merely friends. With benefits, Brooke reminded herself. She had tried that with Lucas, and look at where it got them, so why was it she was allowing it to happen with Chase? Because she loved him? Or because she wasn't sure if she did?_

_Pulling back, Chase smiled and walked away from her shouting, "eight?" over his shoulder. Brooke nodded and him and watched her friend with benefits get into his own car. She rolled her eyes, but at herself? She knew she shouldn't go through with this, that it would leave someone aching, the way these things usually did, but for some reason, her mind had stopped working and her heart kicked in, telling her that those few benefits would be enough, as opposed to none at all._

_In the passengers seat of his car, she could feel the heat from him sitting next to her. His hand was on the gear shift and she remembered how much she loved that he drive a standard, and how many times he swore he'd teach her. She let her thoughts drift back to the time they parked in an old parking lot, for what felt like a second, but ended up being hours. With the heat up and the music down low, they both lost track of time. Soon they were pushing the car down the parking lot trying to jump start it, as they both laughed and laughed and swore they'd never let it happen again._

_So much for that, Brooke thought, as she watched the car move down that old familiar back road. She rested her arm against the window, where her hand played with her hair. She didn't realize it, but she always did this with him, mostly because he made her so nervous. She watched the side of Chase's face, the way he was trying so hard to concentrate on the road ahead rather than what was at his side. He was only a couple feet away, but tonight it felt like miles. With her gaze fixed on him, the only sound was the faint radio and the sound of the transmission shifting. He glanced at her through the corner of his eye, and laughed._

_"Stop looking at me like that." He smiled, shifting to another gear as he sped up to get to that old abandoned parking lot._

_"Like what?" She laughed defensively._

_"We're just friends, remember?" He smiled at her. Except her's faded. She didn't want to be just friends, she wanted more. "Brooke?" He sighed._

_"Uh huh, trust me, I remember." she whispered. For a second, she stared at his hand on the gear shift, and wished she could hold it. It was silly, wanting to hold hands like preschoolers, but right now she really wanted to reach out for it. But she resisted. "So you and Amanda, are you guys, just friends, too?" Brooke snapped. She didn't mean to, this was supposed to be a good night._

_"Well... yeah." he simply mumbled. She raised an eyebrow at him, as if to say, you know what I meant, but I have no idea what you meant._

_"Well, that makes me feel remarkably special." she said with sarcasm. Before she knew it he was switching to the lowest gear and moving over to the end of the parking lot, which was shaded by a huge oak tree. As the car engine stopped, Chase turned to look at her with that look in his eye._

_"Brooke, what do you want me to do?" Chase asked her, as if he didn't already know. She wanted him to call off this stupid friends with benefits thing. She wanted him to leave Amanda behind and just be with her._

_"I don't know, Chase." She sighed. She ran her fingers through her hair, as her reached out and took her hand, kissing her palm._

_"I wish it didn't have to be like this." He whispered as he pulled her in. She was sitting closer to him, and the cup holder deck next to her was digging into her side._

_"It doesn't." she snapped, "but it's what you wanted." She felt her eyes sting with tears, and she was still asking herself why she'd agreed to this in the first place._

_"But Brooke, Amanda is here now and-" _

_"And that shouldn't make a difference. It's either you want to be with me or you don't?" She complained. She hated even trying to get this through to him, she didn't want him to lose any respect for her, or any love. She didn't want to be the girl he talked to his friends about, the whiney one who was too dramatic. She didn't want any of that, but at this point, she didn't know if she wanted any of this either._

_"I do, but after our last break up, there's so much I need to consider." He leaned in and nuzzled his face into her neck._

_She pulled back and stared at him, "What's to consider?"_

_"Amanda." He simply said. Brooke felt her eyes overflow with tears. That wasn't what she wanted to hear._

_"You still love her don't you?" her lip quivered as she waited for the answer she prayed she wouldn't get._

_He shrugged, which hurt just as much. He had his hand on her lower back, drawing circles on the bare skin above her jeans, "I still have feelings for her. How can you expect me not to? I was with her for a really long time."_

_Brooke's heart got caught in her throat, "After all she did to you, you still love her?" she gasped._

_He nodded slightly to himself, "It sucked, what she did, but that doesn't change how happy I was with her." He admitted. She couldn't believe what she was hearing. Before, Amanda hadn't even been an issue, until recently... recently what? What had happened recently to make him change his mind about her? Had he been seeing more of her than he led Brooke to believe?_

_"What about me?" Brooke sobbed, her hands grabbing his tightly. Here she was, once again, having to ask, what about me? What about us? Why was it that the _other_ girl always got the guy? She was right back where she had been this time last year, same situation, different guy. Did she bring this on herself?_

_"Brooke! I told you, I love you! And I do want to be with you. But..." He lowered his head and bit his lip._

_"But you want to be with her too." She finished for him. "It doesn't work that way."_

_"I know. And I'm sorry. I just need a little while longer to figure things out. Would you rather if I got into this with you, and ended up hurting you even more?"_

_"You told me you loved me, that's about as far into it as you're going to get._" _she whispered. He just nodded. "You know," she continued, "I can make you that happy, if you just give me the chance."_

_He stared at her, and ran his hand across her cheek_, _"Just a little while longer?" He pleaded. She wanted to say no, I can't wait for someone who to choose, I should be with someone who would only think about choosing me. But she loved him, and she knew he loved her, so, she just nodded._

* * *

What is enough? Hanging onto your heart for an eternity because you know they'll break it? Or letting it go, and letting them? What makes a person strong? Having the strength to let go of someone you love? Or having the strength to hang on to them? What makes that person even worth it? And is knowing that you make someone else feel like no one else can make them feel the best feeling in the world? Or is knowing that at one point someone else made them feel the exact same way, the worst? Or does any of this even matter? Brooke turned on her heel and walked into her house, closing the door behind her and blinking at the blindness of the dark hall. Was love even enough anymore? Or was _she_ just not enough?

* * *

Please Please Please Please Review? Please!

Michelley P.


	16. My Memory

Here's another chapter, and Man, Im on a roll! lol.. I hope you like this.. and don't worry, chin up girlies, things for Brooke and Chase won't be bad forever: )

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Chapter Fifteen: My Memory

_Here's a question for you, or for the world really: how do you separate a mere memory, from that which is real? I mean, of course, you know what is real by what is standing right in front of you. But when it comes to your feelings, when it comes to love... how do you know if it's the present that you love, the person he/she is now, or the memory they have fixed into your soul. It's sad though, that some people are forced to work it out, and separate it, because when it hits you, the truth about how you feel, or someone else feels. It hits you hard, like a sudden . . . Heat Wave, affected every inch of your body._

* * *

Heat was seeping through every corner of Tree Hill. Here it was, the middle of November, and the heat was enough to burn them all alive. Students flocked around, waving their hands on their faces, some with portable fans, or books, doing whatever they could to keep cool. It was like a phenomenon around there, something so unexpected that though so minor, it was tearing the small town apart.

"What is up with this heat?" Brooke whined. She fell onto Haley's couch in the still so empty apartment. Across from her, Haley sat in her shorts and tank top, watching the melted ice cream drip from her spoon, chunks of cookie dough managing to splash into the gooey cream in the bottom of the container. She looked over at Brooke and shrugged.

"My ice cream melted." she simply answered. Brooke stared at her, and managed to smile. She was falling apart, Brooke could see it. James was sleeping in the crib next to the fan, gleaming sweat on his forehead, and Haley was trying her hardest to be cool and collected, even with Nathan gone. For some reason Brooke always expected sweat pants and bags under the eyes, but leave it to Haley Scott to keep herself together even when everything else was falling apart.

"I was just talking to Rachel, and guess where she's headed..." Brooke scoffed, rolling her eyes, and praying that for once Haley would be able to keep the conversation going. It was the only way that Brooke could tell that Haley was really falling apart. Usually, the girl could talk up a storm, have her input on everything, but now their conversations were limited to small syllables and grunts. Haley stared at her again, waiting for her to continue, instead of urging her to do so, "the TANNING SALON! I mean seriously... we're in the middle of a freaking heat wave and that girl is going to jump into a tanning bed..." Haley smiled and chuckled a little, but didn't have any more to say about it.

In his crib, James rolled over and let out a long, comfortable yawn. Haley looked over with him and let out a sigh of her own, not a comfortable one, but a sad one, that brought a lump into Brooke's throat.

"Have you been talking to Nathan?" she finally asked. She heart Haley whimper, as if the name hurt her, and no matter how hot it was, a coldness swept through them like a bitter wind.

"Don't say Nathan." She whispered, and Brooke noticed her bottom lip quiver. "Please." she dropped the spoon down into the container of ice cream, her hand racing to her mouth to stop it from moving, to stop herself from hearing her own voice crack.

"I'm sorry..." Brooke whispered. She looked around the apartment, remembering when Nathan had been like this, when Haley had left him once before. He had tore down the picture and painted over the mural of her on the wall. He had literally gone insane, sinking down lower than he ever sank. But this time, all the pictures were still in place, because Brooke knew that Haley was more of the type of girl to leave everything in place physically, but fall apart mentally. Brooke could only imagine what went on when she wasn't there, and neither was Nathan. When the baby cried in the middle of the night and Nathan wasn't there, and Haley was left to handle it on her own. No matter how much older both Nathan and Haley seemed than the rest of them, sometimes you had to take a step back and remind yourself, that they're just teenagers. And here Haley was, a teenager, who was a wife and a mother and who was handling all this without and husband and a father. A teenager who was alone and falling to pieces, but still holding together so well.

"What about you?" Haley broke the silence.

"Hmm?" Brooke asked. Things were so weird today, like neither one of them had their heads on straight and could manage to form sentences. It was like, when the person they love left, they took their voice, the ability to speak and react, and move and basically breathe. They took all of that with them.

"How are things with Chase?"

"Things with Chase are..." Brooke stopped herself for a second, remembering that Haley knows how she feels, and Haley's is hurting as much or more than she is, and she wasn't able to speak about it. Now here's the difference with them, because Brooke _needed_ to talk about it. She needed to let someone know, and she needed to know that it wasn't her that was wrong about it all, it was him. "Things are terrible."

"Is he still doing the friends with benefits thing?" Haley asked, and Brooke watched her as a small smile spread across her face. "Wow, why do I feel like I've asked you that before?"

"Because it always happens to me?" Brooke choked up, "What is it about me? That guys only want me physically, but _never_ emotionally. What am I doing wrong?"

"Have you talked to him about it at all?" Haley seemed to be asking these questions, but not really listening. Brooke couldn't blame her though, she probably had so much more on her mind.

"Are you sure you want to talk about this right now?" Brooke asked honestly.

"Yes. I am..." but Brooke was still hesitant, "Brooke, I need a distraction."

Brooke nodded at her, and took a deep breath. "I have, talked to him that is. He keeps saying he needs to consider things before it goes any further."

"Can it go any further? In the end it's still going to hurt just as much if it doesn't work out." Haley added.

"I know, and that's what I've been saying." Brooke's mind was racing, but it managed to race pass the bad stuff, and smack right into the things that had attracted her to Chase, as if her heart was begging her to remember the good stuff, because truthfully, it couldn't handle the bad much longer. "I love the way he looks at me." Brooke said randomly.

Haley raised her eyebrows at her, but let her continue. She took a deep breath and looked around uncomfortable as the heat passed through her body again, the sweat dripping from her chin and onto her chest. Outside she could hear fire trucks rushing down the street, but her mind was so overwhelmed with Chase, that she didn't even care.

"Remember? I used to tell you about it when I first met him," Haley nodded at her, remembering, "It was like, when he looked at me, he really saw me, and he could hold my stare forever. Even when we were mad at each other, I could see him smiling at me through his eyes." Brooke laughed and smiled, as she wiped the sweat of her brow, "And the way he used to smile at me, and make me laugh and when he used to-"

"Brooke." Haley interrupted her, "Why are all these things past tense? I mean, he isn't gone anywhere, shouldn't they be in the present?"

"Haley, you're interrupting me for an English lesson?" Brooke raised an eyebrow at her, and for the first time in a while, Haley laughed.

"No!" She giggled, "what I'm asking is. You said, _he used to,_ but does he now? Does he still look at you like that? Or is it just the memory of that look that you're hanging onto?" Brooke sat up and looked at Haley.

"I don't know." She whispered simply. Was Haley on to something? Brooke honestly couldn't remember the last time she got that look, or that goofy smile. Was Haley right? Was Brooke hanging onto the memory of when her and Chase were happy, was that what she was in love with? The past? Or did it even exist anymore? "I have to go."

* * *

On his front porch, she wished there wasn't a heat wave. She knew she must have been a red as a beet, and she wasn't sure if her heart was pounding because she was so warm and tired, or because she was so close to seeing him. Every door and window in the house was open, and she could hear music inside. She tried knocking on the door frame, but no one answered, so here she was walking into his house like an intruder.

She turned the corner and saw him there, sitting in his boxers with the television on and two fans working around him. She never remembered a time when he looked better, and she was beginning to wonder if the heat wave was such a bad thing. He looked over and saw her there, then smiled. It was a smile, but she was afraid to take it for more than that. It may have been a smile, but was it _the_ smile?

"So it looks to me like this heat wave is having benefits of its own." He laughed, raising his eyebrows at her short skirt and tank top.

"Yeah..." She smiled back, "looks like..." She glanced at his chest, glistening with sweat.

"Here for benefits?" He laughed. That took the smile off her face. Benefits? It sounded amazing, but not unless the benefits were only her's to have.

"Look at me." She simply ordered him.

"Oh, I'm looking." He smiled suggestively. He stood up and wrapped his arms around her. She loved the attention from him, but she couldn't help but wonder what happened to the sweet, sensitive guy she fell for. She stared at his eyes, waiting for a sign that told her things were fine, that things were the same as before. She watched his mouth as it leaned in to her's. She could taste the heat and smell it, and suddenly, she felt weak. Maybe from his kiss and maybe from the heat, but she felt her legs give way beneath her, and then before she could reach the bottom, her arms were beneath her knees, pulling her up and carrying her across the room.

She had come here to find out if he was the same person as he used to be, and if he was still the guy she loved. The truth? It came out as articles of clothing hit the floor. The truth was he had changed. He seemed to be letting go of his beliefs and views and maybe even his respect for her. And Brooke? She knew it now, that he had changed, but she loved him too much to stop him just yet. The real question though, in Brooke's mind, was, was she strong enough to separate her love of the memories from who he was now, and stop this situation before someone really got hurt. At this second? No.

* * *

_So the question still remains: when we love someone, after so long, is it their memory we love, or do we love the person they become? And most importantly, can we separate our love for those memories from who we have both become in the moment, long enough to walk away and find someone who will never waver, who will fall astray from who they are and the person you fell in love with. Or, does that person even exist. Can any of us really stay the person we've always been, or should others just try to love our changes much the same? Or is love worth any of it?_

* * *

_Review pretty pretty please... _

_ Michelley P._


	17. Too Late

Sorry So Long...

* * *

Chapter Sixteen: Too Late

_I'm holding on your rope,  
Got me ten feet off the ground  
I'm hearin what you say but I just can't make a sound  
You tell me that you need me  
Then you go and cut me down, but wait  
You tell me that you're sorry  
Didn't think I'd turn around, and say..._

He ran his hand along the bare skin on her hip, and stared down at her silently. She saw him take a deep breath, as if her were nervous, and then he leaned in to kiss her again. She kissed him back, thinking that maybe there was a chance that he'd be himself again. But knowing that he didn't really want this, made her wonder why he'd even try.

She felt his lips tickle her neck, as she ran her own hands across his strong back. She could hear him breathing and she could feel the hesitation in his moves. She pulled back and looked at him.

"Why are you doing this?" She whispered. He looked surprised and he rolled over onto his side and looked around the room. "Chase." She spoke.

"What?" He looked almost angry, but she knew that he was just disappointed.

"This isn't what you want. Lately you're so..." She sat up and pulled her shorts up over her hips, thankful she had spoken up before it had went any further. "You're doing and saying things that I know you don't believe in, and you definitely don't want. So why are you doing it?"

"I do believe in it." he muttered. Brooke let out a scoff.

"Yeah, that's why it took you twenty minutes to unhook my bra." She saw him blush as she pulled her tank top down over her.

"Whatever." He said. He hopped of the bed and pushed the window open as far as it could go.

"This isn't you." she simply stated.

"Then who is it?" He ended up yelling. He didn't mean to. And he regretted it right away, but he knew that she was right. He didn't want to rush anything with her. He didn't want to be just friends, with benefits. He didn't want to hurt her, Amanda, or anyone else for that matter. "Who is it that I am, Brooke?" He offered again.

Brooke stood up and looked at him, when the answer hit her. It was like a train roaring in a skimming past her. It was close enough to hurt her, but to not destroy her completely. She ran her fingers through her hair and let out a deep breath, wondering how she had let herself get put in this situation all over again.

"It's Lucas! You're just like him!" She stood there with her mouth gaped open, wondering how she could have been so blind. "Oh my God."

"And?" Chase said, rasing one eyebrow. "I mean, isn't that what you wanted?"

"No!" Brooke's lip quivered, she had never felt so defeated. "If I had wanted Lucas, I would have stayed with him. Dontcha think?"

"She saw you." Chase finally said. He wiped a bead of sweat from his forehead and stared at her. "Amanda saw you with him. So, I couldn't lose you. I just thought that if I was more like him, you'd look at me the way you look at him."

"I was not with Luke!" She gasped, hurt that he'd believe it. "Not when you are I were together." She could feel herself beginning to cry.

"What's the difference? It was in between, but it shouldn't matter." He said coldly.

"YOU WERE WITH AMANDA! SO YOU CANNOT BLAME-"

"AMANDA'S PREGNANT!" Chase shouted. Brooke almost fainted. She could feel her head getting lighter and she wasn't sure if it was from the heat, or what Chase had just said. But suddenly, she felt like she was going to be sick.

_

* * *

_

I'd take another chance, take a fall  
Take a shot for you  
And I need you like a heart needs a beat  
But it's nothin new  
I loved you with a fire red-  
Now it's turning blue, and you say...  
"Sorry" like the angel heaven let me think was you  
But I'm afraid... 

Haley sat on her couch, she was rocking Jamie's cradle back and forth with her foot where it sat next to the air conditioner. She could feel the sweat dripping from her neck and prayed that Jamie wasn't feeling as terrible as she was. On the television, the news report showed no sign of change in the heat and declared that Tree Hill would soon reach drought status.

_Within the next few days, we're expecting the temperature to spike to about..._

"Pretty crazy heat huh?" A voice spoke from the doorway. She looked over to where she had left the door open, and she heard James giggled from his cradle. She sat up and she noticed Nathan looking her over like it was the first time he ever saw her. He was just standing there in a wife beater and gym shorts, looking more amazing the hotter the room got.

"Yeah." She said quietly.

"Hey buddy." Nathan smiled, he walked over and picked the baby up and cradled him, kissing his forehead. Haley couldn't keep her tears back. She watched her husband and son together, and felt her whole heart drop. How could a woman be so selfish? How could a man? How could her and Nathan both, be so selfish to put their needs before their son's. Right now, she could see that Jamie needed Nathan, even more than she did.

Nathan looked over Haley, but didn't seem to see her tears. There was so much they both wanted to say, but all that they could hold onto was their anger. "I just came to get more clothes, I've got a game tomorrow, I need my uniform." He said. He passed the baby to Haley and disappeared into the bedroom.

"I'm sorry." She whispered into the baby's hair. James' face was so warm from the heat that it almost worried Haley. "Are you okay baby?" she whispered to him.

"Is he sick?" Nathan asked as he walked back into the living room, uniform on hand.

"I don't..." She looked down at James, his eyes were heavy, "I think it's just the heat." She nodded.

"Oh." Nathan just stood there awkwardly, wondering what he could say next. He was staring at his wife, searching for the words that could take them back in time, erase anything he has said before, and anything that he wouldn't be able to stop himself from saying in the future.

There was no doubt he loved her, and he loved the sight of her holding his child. But, something in him kept screaming that he was just a child himself, and had simply made one too many mistakes.

"Haley." he spoke up. She looked over at him, hoping that he was going to fix this somehow, because she couldn't. Looking back, he could swear they were frozen in time. It was like everything that came out of their mouths lately was nothing. They were just talking about nothing at all, in so many words. "Nothing." he sighed, he headed for the door, and kissed the baby's head along the way.

"Is this a big game tomorrow?" Haley asked suddenly. Nathan just nodded.

"Oh." He could hear the disappointment in her voice.

"Why?" He asked. He stepped closer to her and Jamie wrapped his hand around Nathan's finger, whimpering as if he didn't want his father to leave. Haley just looked at him for a long time, she had never missed anyone so much in her whole life.

"Nothing." she smiled. "Good luck."

He knew there was something more, there was always something more with them. There was certainly more to them than just standing here like friends. He felt so lost, and so much need. He wanted his wife, but he didn't want things the way they were now. He wanted to person he married, the relationship he married in to. Words were swimming up into his throat, begging to be released. But he just began to walk away.

Looking down at the baby, he whispered, "I love you." then he glanced at Haley, wanting to repeat it. But his pride drowned out the sound of his own voice, and he let the words fade away. Maybe that was his problem, he thought as he walked down the front porch, maybe he was just too used to letting stuff fade away, that he didn't know how to fight for it.

_It's too late to apologize, it's too late  
I said it's too late to apologize, it's too late  
It's too late to apologize, yeah  
I said it's too late to apologize, yeah-  
I'm holdin on your rope, got me ten feet off the ground..._

* * *

_Review Please: )_


	18. This Won't Break Your Heart

ANother... mainly naley based...

* * *

Chapter Seventeen: This Won't Break Your Heart

"No." Brooke demanded, "those chairs need to be set up on the other side."

"They're just chairs, ma'am." the young boy said. He stood there with his arms shaking after carrying more than thirty chairs to the other side of the building from the truck, all on his own.

"No, they're not just chairs. They're red chairs, which go with all the other red chairs." She said in a sweet voice, "on the other side of the building!" She yelled. The boy just nodded and quickly began to pull the metal chairs back on the other side.

"Brookey." Haley smiled hesitantly, "I really appreciate your help with my show but... don't you think you're being a little too particular. I mean, the chairs don't have to be color coded."

"Yes! They do!" Brooke gasped, "fans in yellow, friends in red, miscellaneous in blue, VIPS- like those label people, and me- in orange, and husbands in black." Brooke nodded, obviously pleased with herself.

Haley looked at the front of the room near the stage, where one single black chair sat right in the middle of the row. "Brooke." Haley said in a small, sad voice, "Nathan's not coming." Brooke looked at her, eyes wide.

"You told him didn't you?" but Haley shook her head. "Why Not Haley?" Brooke whined.

"He has a big game today. Skills says the team is really relying on him. So I didn't even bother." She sighed. Haley looked around the empty floor, at the wonderful job that Brooke did arranging this, and at where the most important people would be. Nathan, his chair was close to where Haley'd be singing, but she knew it would remain empty. She thought of the scouts that would be at her show, the record companies that would be sitting right in front around Nathan, and the scouts that would be at his. But her and Nathan had huge, life changing events happening at the same time, and none of them could be around for the other. But the real question was, would either of them go, even if they didn't have this? Haley had went to millions of Nathan's games, with millions of scouts, and she wished that this once, he could do it for her.

Shrugging it off, she remembered that the relationship they were in now, was very different than the one they were in before.

"I have to go check on James." she whispered to Brooke, and walked away, still staring at the black chair.

* * *

"Warm up guys!" Whitey shouted. The players all left the bleachers and began to do laps around the gym as the opposing team made their way onto the opposite side of the court. "Nathan!" he shouted to him. Nathan jogged over to him and nodded.

"Where the heck is your brother?" he hissed. Nathan just shrugged.

"He ain't coming." Skills yelled from the other side of the court.

"Why the hell not?" Whitey snapped.

"Luke is gone to Haley's show."

"Right. Dammit, I remember now. He told me that last week. Scott, you're going to have to work extra hard out there." Nathan looked around, stunned. Haley's show? He tried to remember if anyone had said anything about this to him before. He couldn't think of one moment where he ever knew, but then he remembered the way Haley had acted the night before.

Jogging beside Skills, he gave him a deathly glare. "What. Show. ?" He asked as he gritted his teeth.

"She didn't want you to know." Skills said quietly. He felt like a complete idiot for bringing it up. He felt selfish for keeping it from Nathan, but he needed to win this game, and he needed the scouts to watch them do it. He needed the scholarship, and though he felt like an ass, he needed to concentrate on himself for once.

"Why?" Nathan asked. "Skills!"

"You need to concentrate on the game, Nate. You guys aren't even together anymore. Don't worry about it." Then skills ran on ahead of him, as Nathan slowed down and eventually stopped, conflicted with thoughts about his future, and thoughts of Haley. He looked up in the bleachers where the scouts were sitting, and looked at the empty place close to there where Haley would normally stand cheering him on. He had had games since they had broken up, but not once had he noticed the void until now.

"Move it, Scott!" Whitey yelled. "Free throws! Now!" Not only was the thought of Haley's show tugging at him, but there was something else. Something more significant, and it hit him like a hurricane. How could he have ever forgotten.

* * *

Brooke sat in the front row, surrounded by the label companies, and staring at the empty seat next to her. Nathan should have been here. Looking down at the clip board in her hands, she noted the date on top. She bit her lip as Haley's song flooded into her ears. Haley had requested this date, something about keeping herself busy, and now Brooke.

_"Saw you walk into the room, thought I'd try and talk to you, babe am I ever glad, you wanted me too. It's been __**two years**__ today..."_ Haley sung. Her voice filled the club and Brooke watched as the company men nodded their heads and jotted down notes.

"Hey." A voice said. He jumped into the seat next to her and just stared at her. She could hear him breathing close to her, but tried to pretend he wasn't there. She kept her eyes on Haley's face as she sung.

_"Still I'm lying here tonight, wishing I was by your side, cause when I'm not there enough, nothing feels right..."_ the song went on. Brooke heart broke as she watched tears fall from Haley's chin. She could tell her emotion in the song pleased the record companies, but it didn't please her. She hated the broken expression on Haley's face, and the smell of Chase's cologne next to her.

"Would you please talk to me?" Chase begged her. He was turned to look at her, and one of the men beside Chase was giving them a hard look.

_"When I'm with you, I'll make every second count, cause I miss you, whenever you're not around. When I kiss you. I still get butterflies, years from now. I'll make every second count..."_ Haley's fingers slammed into her keyboard, and she squinted through the bright lights, to see someone filling the black chair. Her heart pounded and she leaned across out of the light to see him. She just needed to see him, to make sure she wasn't dreaming. But seeing that it was just Chase, her heart sunk. Someone who was practically a stranger to her, was filing Nathan's chair, his spot, and almost took her breath away.

"What's to talk about?" Brooke snapped. "Amanda's pregnant and you're going to be a father. Congratulations." She said sarcastically.

"No!" Chase whined, "Brooke, you need to let me explain."

"No need to, Chase. I don't need a mental picture, I already know how it happened." She looked at him for the first time that night, but her eyes were dark and cold, "please leave, that's Nathan's chair." Chase looked down at the black chair he was sitting in and nodded, knowing that Brooke would stick by herself tonight. But as he got up and left he swore that he wouldn't leave this club tonight until Brooke knew the truth.

* * *

Nathan ran for the net, and tried to aim again, but each time he looked up at that backboard, and each time he tried to regain his concentration, that empty place on the bleacher would scream at him. Whether him and Haley were together or not, he shouldn't have been there. He should have been watching her, and making everything good. As his feet landed on the ground after missing yet another easy point, he let out a deep breath. The memory of his life with Haley was swimming through his head, the pros outweighing the cons. He'd remind himself of their fights, and his memories would come back full force, with the moments when they made up. He told himself that he didn't want to be stuck at home for the rest of his life, but his heart kept reminding him of what home was.

He remembered getting up with James in the middle of the night with Haley, versus waking up alone every morning. He remembered how the cries of the baby would fill their small apartment, versus how his footsteps echoed through the empty halls of his mother's house. He remembered all the little things Haley did, the way she smelled, and laughed, and then, he thought of the last time he heard her laugh, the last time he made her laugh. He missed her, and he couldn't stay in this gym for a minute longer without her.

* * *

"_She's his yellow brick road, leading him on and letting him go, as far as she lets him go. Going down, to no where."_She almost whispered the words of her song, this was her soundtrack, the song she was living by, ands he wished he could hear it, but he wasn't here. She squinted through the lights and saw yet another set of legs in his chair, but this time didn't bother to look any further. She didn't need to see who it was this time. All that matter was that, she knew it wasn't him.

_"In my mind. Everything we did was right. Open your eyes I'll still be by your side. How could I ever have been so blind? You give me something to sleep to at night."_

In the seat below her, Brooke was shocked to look over and see Nathan sitting down.

"Nathan?" Brooke whispered to him, "is today your's and Haley's..."

"Anniversary. Yeah." Nathan nodded sadly, as he watched her sing.

"Ouch." Brooke muttered.

_" He wakes up to the sound, so scared that she's leaving. He wished she were still asleep next to him. Hoping she will change. In my mind... everything we did was right. Open your eyes I'll still be by your side. How could I ever have been so blind? You give me something to sleep to at night."_

Haley stood up from her keyboard and walked to the front of the stage, as the band took over and she sang her favorite part of the song with more emotion than she had ever imagined.

_"You give me something to sleep to, and all I know is... you give me something to dream to when I'm all alone and blue. DON'T LEAVE ME NOW, DON'T LEAVE ME NOW..."_ the band took over the solo and Haley stared down at the male in Nathan's seat. It was him. She had dreamt it would be, and she pictured him there at times, but when it was finally real, she could barely breathe.

"Don't leave me now. Don't leave me now. Don't leave me now..." She sung quietly as she stared down at him sitting there, smiling at her, mouthing _Happy Anniversary._

* * *

_Lotsa reviews please?_

_ Michelley P._


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